feldman

(n.) A messy accident on a floor or other surface consisting of bodily fluids as a result of pornography shoots or other socially unacceptable behavior.



Feldmanism
Performing general acts of jewshbaggery in all actions of your everyday life. The leader of this awful cult is davefeldman and he must be destroyed for creating this ultimate evil.
Example:
Room 405 hates all those that practice the dark arts of Feldmanism.


Feldman
1. A man or a woman who shows a complete and utter disregard for the financial, physical, or emotional well-being of another fellow man.

2. A man or woman who shows an astounding lack of work and personal ethic.

3. A man or woman who shows an irrational fear of participating in any event pertaining to the advancement of the human race. (i.e. Incredibly Lazy)

4. A man or woman who is considered to be an extreme coward.

5. A man or woman who shows a severe allergy towards to truth in any fashion.

6. A man or woman who is well-practiced in the act of "ass-covering," particularly at the expense of others.

7. A man or woman who is so morally bankrupt, they are unfit to be a parent.
Example:
1. "Seriously? You don't give a damn whether or not I have a job? You're being a real Feldman right now."

2. You're cutting your shift 3 hours early today? Didn't you show up an hour late too? Geez, you're being a real Feldman today."

3. "Did you see that Feldman today? All he did was sit in the office with his feet up, no shoes, listening to jazz!"

4. "Did you see that coward in 'Band of Brothers'? He was a serious Feldman!"

5. "I've now tried to get a straight answer to my question like 7 times. Quit being a Feldman and just tell the truth!"

6. "Did you hear? My Boss was in today wondering why the reports weren't done for the presentation. That Feldman threw me under the bus to save his own ass!"

7. "I honestly feel that Hitler was too much of a Feldman to be fit for parenthood."


The Feldman
A sly grin that looks strikingly similar to Corey Feldman's appearance on the theatrical poster of "Liscense to Drive," one of the worst movies out of the 80's.
Example:
"Man, I'm sorry, but when you told me your mom caught you spanking it, I couldn't help but give The Feldman."


Feldman
V. To engage in an act of intercourse with a girl or guy with no intentions but to just treat them like a piece of meat.

Feldmaned, Feldmaning
Example:
Dude, where did alex and vicki go?
There probably feldmaning.
damn thats like the 8th girl today.


feldmanism
A completely useless and obvious statement about a subject in which everybody already knows.
Example:
I ran into a friend at work that told me he just heard his old roomate was gay. I wish he wouldn't tell me a feldmanism like that since I already saw them both at a pride rally last week.


feldmanism
A completely useless and obvious statement about a subject in which everybody already knows.
Example:
I ran into a friend at work that told me he just heard his old roomate, Pete, was gay. I wish he wouldn't tell me a feldmanism like that since I already saw them both at a pride rally last week.


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