kitchen table

When You come home to find your wife fucking some other guy on your kitchen table.



Kitchen Table
This is a 5-way gay sex position that consists of 5 different roles. First there is the table himself who is leaning over at a 90 degree angle. To help support him, we have the table legs who is supporting the table by laying face up on the floor supporting the table’s chest with his feet and jerking off the table with his arms. Then, there are two chairs. Chair one is fucking the table in the ass and the other is getting sucked off by the table. To finish off the position, there is the tablecloth which is another guy, laying face up on top of the table, being blown by chair one and making out with the other. Only the table legs is getting the short end of the stick and therefore positions should be rotated however the weight of the table and the tablecloth must be considered. Heavier men are suggested to be the chairs or table legs.
Example:
“Bro please tell me you didn’t post the video of us doing the Kitchen Table on your story”


kitchen table talk
A discussion between family (e.g. cousins) or close friends at a table or other private setting, where the two (or more) of you can have completely open, often deep, conversation. The key to kitchen table talk is the ability to throw the dirtiest shade, talk shit, and spill piping hot tea, that would not be typically be acceptable in every day society.

What happens at the kitchen table, stays at the kitchen table.
Example:
Girl 1: This is going to sound really shady, but...
Girl 2: It's okay girl, this is kitchen table talk.


Kitchen table polyamory
Kitchen table is a style of polyamory that places emphasis on family-style connections among the people involved in a network, whether they're romantically involved with each other or not. The name comes from the idea that everyone involved would be comfortable gathering around the kitchen table for a meal.
Example:
Friend: where's hubby tonight

Me: he is out at his gf's place

Friend: you're cool with his gf?

Me: yeah we practice kitchen table polyamory


Kitchen table blues
Another typical pointless night of you and your friends doing drugs and drinking at a kitchen table at home, instead of going to a bar or disco. The fact that people keep changing the music you have just put on, seems to be considered normal, as well as a constant wave of racist/sexist slurs.
Example:
Carl: He john, how was your weekend?

John: Mwah, kitchen table blues with steve and dan.

Carl: You should really go out more dude.

John: Yeah, i know.


kitchen table lady
Someone who dabbles in a profession that they have little or outdated knowledge of.
Example:
Empty-nester who decides to dust off her twenty-five year old education degree and tutor local kids at her kitchen table, hence the term "kitchen table lady". Because she's a bit older people think she knows what she's doing, but since she hasn't kept up with changes in the field all of her methods are outdated. Also applies to decorators, designers, therapists etc. who may be well-intentioned, but are too backwards to do any good.


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