McAfee
A barely passable virus scanning program that updates at the worst possible times. Tends to render your computer completely useless whenever it starts an update (which it doesn't ask to start and you can't cancel or pause) or starts a virus scan automatically (which it doesn't ask to start). You would probably be better off getting something like Ad-Aware, which has done more for me than McAfee.
Example:
McAfee updates at horrible times, almost like the creators want you to die.
User: *starts up important program*
53 minutes later, still doing something important.
McAfee: Hey, that guy is doing important things. We should update now so his computer won't be able to do anything!
*starts update*
User: OH GODDAMMIT MCAFEE UPDATE!!!
*Bluescreen*
User: FUCK! THAT IMPORTANT THING IS DUE IN AN HOUR AND I DIDN'T SAVE IT!
McAfee updates at horrible times, almost like the creators want you to die.
User: *starts up important program*
53 minutes later, still doing something important.
McAfee: Hey, that guy is doing important things. We should update now so his computer won't be able to do anything!
*starts update*
User: OH GODDAMMIT MCAFEE UPDATE!!!
*Bluescreen*
User: FUCK! THAT IMPORTANT THING IS DUE IN AN HOUR AND I DIDN'T SAVE IT!