valentines

the day of fornication and depression



valentines
The phrase "Valentine" was coined sometime after July of 1947, by either the Ebe Alien culture or Chuck Norris himself, as a technological trade that would allow corporations to scam millions of lonely hearts like Paris Hilton. It is understood these technologies, and holiday ideas are just some of the many things that the Aliens have provided us in exchange for the thousands of helpless abductees, cows and crops who are assaulted each year.

Valentines day has become as much of a worldwide epidemic as people who expect you to remember and much less care when it is their birthdays.
Example:
On valentines many ladies will perform favors for flowers and candy versus the old rent payment, it gives the many guys who'd never would have had a chance otherwise, a break.


Valentin
An amazing brown hair, hazel eyed young man. He is strong and has sexy abs and can often be described as "Orgasmic" He usually has a 7-8 inch penis.
Example:
-Hey look! He has a big dick!
-What a valentin....


Valentine
Valentine is a super classical and sexy name, those who are named after Valentine are most of the time misunderstood by their loved ones, and you can blame on their impulsive/intensive behavior for that. Valentine is tremendously good in bed and an excellent good kisser. It's always on the mood for partying, loves huge crowds but hates long lines, they are the best lover, boyfriend or girlfriend you could ever have, or ask for.

Valentine is a unisex given name from the Roman cognomen Valentinus, which was itself a derivative of the cognomen Valens meaning "strong, vigorous, healthy" in Latin. Saint Valentine was a 3rd-century martyr. His feast day was the same as the Roman fertility festival of Lupercalia, which resulted in the association between Valentine's day and love. As an English name, it has been used occasionally since the 12th century.
Example:
A random person: Oh boy here it comes, the hurricane Valentine


Valentin
this young man is stunning. He has abs, blonde hair which he always styles or chooses not to on some days happening rarely. He has a big penis usually ranging from 6-8 inches. A lot of girls like him but not all het him. He will always love you and he is super caring.
Example:
"Wow, I need a Valentin."


Valentin
The ''Valentinus bigpenus'' usually just called Valentin was discovered and researched on by a random old scientist. They are a member of the Hominina tribe (or human tribe), a branch of the tribe Hominini belonging to the family of great apes.

The first Valentin was discovered in a cave in 69 BC. The latest fossils were found in a cave next to a computer of a fat guy. The Valentin caves usually held lots of female human skeletons with their genitalia parts cracked. Scientists said that those skeletons were once beautiful human women, until the Valentins lured them into his cave. Scientists say that they lure other females in with their enormous penises.

The remains of 99% of the skeletons were usually paralyzed from the neck down. The Valentin specie is near extinction with only 6 and a half alive. They reproduce with humans and sometimes asexually by using binary fission (basically cloning). But they prefer to reproduce sexually. The Valentins reproduce sexually with women only because they are a very straight specie. They are characterized with their large penises, their height, black hair and chiseled abs. They are practically immortal as the oldest one is 6 billion years old. They have many things about them that includes the attributes of omniscience (infinite knowledge), omnipotence (unlimited power), omnipresence (present everywhere), divine simplicity, and as having an eternal and necessary existence.
Example:
Person 1: Hey, I saw valentin watching me in the shower today. He was flying his horse then he saw me and blessed me with this dildo
Person 2: Valentins dont exist what are you talking abou-
:Valentin erases person 2 from existence:
Person 1: He deserved it anyways..


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