Ass-monkey Definition| Urban Word Dictionary

Ass-monkey

An awkward neighbor or boyfriend/girlfriend in your dorm who invites himself/herself to meals, parties, and other social events. Ass monkeys attach themselves to specific groups or individuals by seeing that other individuals are able to invite themselves to events but still be welcomed companions.

Ass Monkey

by Petros on Mar 11, 2004 06:37:03

A person who, for all intents and purposes, has never learned a god-damned thing. One who maintains a blissful ignorance of the world that simultaneously inspires amusement, disgust and despair in all who are unlucky enough to encounter him.

Example:
Did you see those ass-monkeys on Jaywalking last night? Ha-ha, they're so dumb...I think I'll kill myself.

Ass Monkey

by pseudoraptor on Feb 19, 2010 08:51:22

A driver who follows your vehicle at an unsafe distance in their vehicle. A tailgater.

Example:
I wish that Ass Monkey would get off my tail!

Ass-Monkey

by Bobo aka Bart Clocker the Fart Knocker on Mar 25, 2004 06:43:10

1. One who exudes stupidity.
2. One who tries to be funny but fails miserably.

Example:
"The two people who submitted their versions of the definition before me (mojohojojomo and lee!) are a couple of reeeaaaalll ASS-MONKIES!!!"

Ass-Monkey

by SchwarzerWind on Sep 02, 2003 00:28:54

A ridiculously stupid person. A complete imbecile.

Example:
Why do you have to be such an Ass-Monkey?

Ass Monkey

by Jay Faraday on May 23, 2020 16:37:47

Someone that is so very obsessed with ass, though this is not where the term's meaning comes from. Rather, it is the behavior of these ass monkeys. They act like douchebags for no reason and are typically extremely unintelligent.

Example:
John: "Yo, did you go to Mark's party last night? It was wild!"
Rudiger: "Nah mate, I didn't. Mark's a fucking ass monkey."

ass monkey

by Andrew Rentschler on Jun 10, 2004 07:13:09

A person (usually a man) who i such an asshole that people leave the room when he enters and announces his presence.

Example:
At Jake's wedding, Dan was such an ass monkey that entire sections of the bride's family left the reception early.

ass monkey

by Monday's Dusk on Feb 23, 2009 05:29:12

n. an individual who, when in an argument, just makes up statistics and quotes from authorities on the subject so they look correct
v. to make up statistics or quotes to appear more correct

Example:
n. Dan is such an ass monkey; there's no way that CNN had an exit poll that said that 87% of Americans want socialism.
v. I totally ass monkeyed through that test. There's no way Mrs. Clark will know that Teddy Roosevelt actually never said anything about anarchy's role in society.

Ass-Monkey

by Anonymous on Aug 27, 2003 06:35:39

A "kiss ass", "brown noser". A person who is trying to impress someone by following them around...closely.

Example:

ass monkey

by turnip bukowski on Sep 26, 2006 17:31:57

Someone who constantly follows someone else around and agrees with everything they say and do.

Example:
"hey, should we invite Ben around tonight?"

"nah, his ass monkey Matt will have to come too."

"oh yeah. let's not."

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