Baptism

When your girl is on her knees in the hot shower ready to suck you off, and you stretch your nutsack out into the shape of a bowl to catch water inside it. Once full, you dump the holy water on her head to let her know she has been blessed to swallow your unwanted children.



Baptism
slapping the head of one's penis to another person's forehead, usually achieved stealthily
Example:
My girlfriend fell asleep watching t.v. on the couch, so I snuck up behind her, and woke her up with a ferocious baptism.


No baptism
Similar to “no cap” but when you use no baptism you don’t want to take back what you said meaning it is true and you don’t regret saying it
Example:
I just fucked that kid up no baptism


baptism
a sexual act where a group of guys ejaculate into a bowl and then shove a girls head in it.
Example:
Betty was getting so turned on watching the guys wrestling team that she asked them if they could baptize her.

I am still trying to wash everything out of my hair from my baptism


Discordian Baptism
When a person of higher intelligence is checked into several-day inpatient psychiatric facility. Discordianism is an absurdist religion (or psuedo religion) which reveres the Greek Goddess Eris, the scion of chaos.
Example:
"What happened to our theoretical physics professor?"
"He's having his Discordian Baptism in the loony bin."
"Poor guy!"


Surrey baptism
A coming of age event where a Surrey Girl, no more than 18 has 30 (or more) men ejaculate on her at once. The men are required to all wait to do it at the exact same time. The girl is required to love it. If she is a genuine Surrey Girl, she will.
Example:
Joe: What you do last weekend?
Mike: I went to a Surrey baptism and came on this slut!
Joe: Were there at least 30 guys there?
Mike: Yes.


Baptism for the dead
A doctrine promoted mostly (but not exclusively) by Mormon groups wherein a living believer is baptized for a dead person who was never baptized.
Example:
1 CORINTHIANS 15:22&29,
22) Just as in Adam all die, so also in Christ all will be made alive.
29) Otherwise, what will they do who practice BAPTISM FOR THE DEAD, if the dead are not to be raised? What then would be the point of being BAPTIZED FOR THE DEAD?


Tijuana Baptism
When a guy gets his junk vomited on whilst receiving a blow job.
Example:
Chris: "Hey, remember that drunk chick at the bar the other day?"

Marc: "You mean the one with no teeth?"

Chris: "Yeah. She gave me a blowy in my car and threw up all over my wee-wee."

Marc: "That's awesome, you've gotten your first Tijuana Baptism!"


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