A city located on the western side of the Hudson River in Albany County, New York with a population of who gives a shit.
The most recent United States census reports that 12.3% of
Cohoes is "African American". Upon complaints the census conducted a door-to-door campaign which resulted in an unrecorded change from the original 12.3% to 1.4%. The census bureau workers reported seeing an overwhelming amount of new shoes, fubu and
southpole clothing.
Cohoes is widely known for it's habitual tweakers (methamphetamine users), level 3 sex offenders, arsonists,
flaming homosexuals, douchebag cops and it's high eastern european population.
In the city's main park you will find a monument dedicated to incest.
Some traditions in Cohoes are getting pregnant before the age of 18, smoking newports and drinking 40's of cheap beer (even while pregnant), pretending to be from Troy,
Latham, Waterford,
Maplewood or
Colonie.
Cohoes is home to a single high school, where gangsters roll up on unsuspecting 'foos' and threaten to steal their fellow students EBT (
foodstamps) cards. I say threaten because these gangsters are actually white posers (they pretend to be italian or colored).
In the past decade scientists and physicians alike have become fascinated in an epidemic which has seemingly overtaken the small city. The virus is known as "staring". Rest assured, if you drive through Cohoes you will be stared upon and maybe put into shock by their dirt smudged faces and yellow teeth.
Example:
All persons herein mentioned are from or are employed in
Cohoes unless otherwise stated.
Person A: Look at the person from Cohoes!
Person B: How do you know they're from Cohoes?
Person A: See definition above!
"It's a sad, sad thing that dental hygiene is non-existent in Cohoes..."
Person A: Hey man, you get the new Jordans?
Person B: Nah, my
FICA check hasn't come yet...
Person A: Hey man, you got any doritos?
Person B: Nah, my
foodstamps haven't come yet...
Person A: Hey man, you got some crystal?
Person B: Hells yes