ESPN
by Person who hates ESPN on Aug 14, 2008 12:28:54
Epstein and
Steinbrenner's Personal Network
Formally know as Entertainment and Sports Programming Network, they offically changed their names to Epstein and Steinbrenner's Personal Network when they decided to focus on two MLB teams, the Red Sox and Yankees. Their main headlines usually include:
*Manny being Manny
*Manny Ramirez being Manny Ramirez
*MANNY TRADED TO THE LA DODGERS
*David Ortiz hits Homerun Number (insert #)
*David Ortiz eats burger number (insert #)
*A-Rod and Madonna???
*A-Rod and Jeter breaks up with Madonna rumors.
*Joba Chamberlain as a possible Cy Young Candidate (No Joke, actually real)
With the occasional headlines of:
Evan Longoria
Tiger Woods
Brett Farve
Evan Longoria
The New York Mets
Brett Farve
Brett Farve
Brett Farve
LA Dodgers (only because Manny is there)
Brett Farve
Brett Farve
Brett Farve
Brett Farve
Brett Farve
Brett Farve
Example:
MLB News
Subscribe
* MLB eyeing
instant replay as early as late August
* Oblique puts Lowell on DL | Red Sox top Rangers
* After fouling ball off foot,
Jeter sits | Yanks lose
* Cubs sweep Braves by combined score of 18-2
* Crawford opts for hand surgery | TB-OAK Live
* A's
third baseman Chavez has shoulder surgery
* Quentin sits out, but balanced ChiSox top Royals
* Sheffield says he's not expecting trade | Tigers fall
* Rumor Central: Rays making push for Aurilia? Insider
Four Yankees/Red Sox headlines in the top 5 from ESPN website 8/13/08
ESPN
by JoeJoeJoeJoe on Oct 21, 2005 07:15:05
Example:
Somebody just hit 8 home runs in one
World Series game,
but first, the latest on Barry Bonds'
hangnail, plus the Red Sox and the Yankees tee times here on ESPN!
ESPN
by ---Tom--- on Nov 10, 2006 14:53:57
What Used To Be "Entertainment Sports
Programming Network", Now Primarily A
Daytime Soap
Featuring A Grammy-Nominated Cast Of Rich Athelets
Example:
-----------------ESPN------------------
featuring...
Tiger Woods.........as Tony The Whiner
Barry Bonds.........as Cheating Charlie
Alex Rodriguez......as Crying Companion
T.O.................as Mr. Selfabsorbed
LeBron James........as 4 Guys Living Together
Brett Favre.........as Marsha
ESPN
by Smart American Male on Feb 17, 2009 00:13:57
A sports channel owned by Disney. Takes all their
shit too far and when they're too butthurt over
Favre, the Yankees, or anything in
the MLB, then they won't show highlights when they are suppose to.
Sportscenter is cheap too. They give it that ghetto like flavor because somehow they believe their main demographic is black street thugs. When they spew shit from their mouths the most, it's from the rigged championship games, and don't inform if they really were cheating because they hold bias opinions and like to show them off in an arrogant way (ex: the Steelers). Many athletes plan to sue ESPN for humilating them and for how much they can't report and anchor for caca.
Example:
ESPN anchor: Phillies win the World Series! Oh my god! Yes! Let's go and cover this for like 3 weeks.
Viewer: 3 weeks! The
postseason only lasted for ONE week. Plus
baseball sucks. *changes channel and eventually flips back tp ESPN where it shows the anchorman raping
Favre*
ESPN Anchor: Uh, OH NO!
Favre: *girly scream*
ESPN
by amcoho4 on Mar 13, 2012 22:36:25
A network that
shuns the best sport in the world, hockey, and obsesses over the worst league in the world, the NBA. And also obsesses over the stupidest things for the LONGEST time (ie. penn st,
tebow,
jeremy lin, NFL in general)
Example:
"And now
ESPN's top plays, or should i say top play, because it's the same
dunk over and over that we have all seen hundreds of times before."