Excrement!

soft term (substitute of "shit") used by people who think that swearing will make them go to hell.



excrementally
a cross between exponentially and incrementally, the degree to which random events can compound in ever increasing amounts

"when shit piles up all over the place"
Example:
"The odour from the cat litter box increases excrementally as The Andersons failed to return from their weekend In Hoboken."


Excremental
A word that describes something that is outright bullshit or a load of rubbish, with excremental relating to fecal matter, the pure definition of shit. Something excremental is so untrue that it makes you slowly lose hope in humanity, results in immediate laughter, and makes you question whether or not you are hearing things.
Example:
Person 1: Hey, did you hear that a professor who has a Ph.D. in pseudoscience discovered that humans are descended from giant alien hawks from the 6th Dimension? That's means that humans are really multi-dimensional birds!
Person 2 (internal thoughts): I just can't describe how excremental that statement is...I mean, how could anyone be so hopelessly dumb?
Person 2: **Bursts out laughing uncontrollably.**


excrementation
The process of creating an answer for a question using absolutely no real data whatsoever. Derived from the words excrement and iteration, it is synonomous with 'accessing the rectal database'.
Example:
J.T. - Our sales Veep really pulled those forecasts out of her ass, didn't she.
D.S. - Yeah, it was a brilliant display of excrementation.


Excrement
To be used as an alternative to the word 'excellent' in a manner whereby just enough doubt is cast in the mind of the listener as to whether you really said 'excrement' or 'excellent'. Most effective when teamed with the finger pyramid of evil contemplation and a suitably evil voice.
Example:
Person A: This cake is truly fab
Person B: Yes, it is excrement.

Person A: You won the lottery!
Person B: Excrement.


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