Hallmark
A conglomerate constructed entirely of cardstock, glitter, and
Keepsake ornaments.
Hallmark's main goal is to perpetuate Christmas year-round, so it's four quarters are labeled as follows:
Almost Christmas, Christmas, Still Christmas, and Valentine's Day. Among it's many schemes for holiday perpetuation are things such as: three (3) separate
keepsake ornament events (the first of which occurs in July), constant, nagging reminders to customers to begin stocking up on cards for Christmas (beginning sometime around August), and the unnecessarily long "post-holiday sale" that runs right up to the beginning of Valentine's Day.Since Christmas provides such a large part of Hallmark's revenue, it feels the need to begin releasing it's prized Keepsake Ornaments in early July, just as most people are finally beginning to put the horror of the previous holiday behind them. Thus, "Almost Christmas" begins, moving smoothly into "Christmas" sometime around mid-October. "Still Christmas" begins directly after New Years and runs until
February 14th and often beyond, so "Still Christmas" and "Valentine's Day" often overlap.Valentine's Day, which is the lesser of Hallmark's insidiously overdone holidays, fills in the gap between Still Christmas and Almost Christmas nicely while still managing to fill the duel purpose of
guilting men into showering the objects of their affections with glittery cards, fluffy teddy bears, and heart-shaped boxes of chocolate.
Hallmark
by HBA_Mouse on Mar 05, 2009 00:20:37
Hallmark is a place where thick
pieces of paper with corny sayings are sold for ridiculous prices. Some are too mushy to be serious, whereas others honestly might provide amusement.
Also, a brand invented by some ugly old man, last name Hall, to help get himself in better with the women by sending her candy and goofy little holiday stuff.
Known for inventing such holidays as Valentine's Day, Administrative Professionals Day,
Sweetest Day,
Friendship Day, Clergy Day, and many many more.
Example:
1) Let's go to Hallmark and buy some over-priced candy.
2)That guy named
Hall had no idea
what kind of monster he was starting when he made the Hallmark store.
3)Let's change
Valentine's Day to "Spend Too Much At Hallmark Day". I mean, they made it, right?
Hallmark
by some dude on Oct 22, 2004 08:05:41
Besides being a
greeting card company, it also means a male who has no balls. therefore he is way to
simpathetic and crys over
chick flicks. Enjoys buying stuffed animals and flowers for his girlfriend who has him by his non existent nuts. He listens to his every word as if he thought he could blow a load on it. Hallmark club cards, and "Hallmark" are not that different when you think about it.
Example:
Chris: dude, tonight there is an
Avril Lavigne concert! i'm
going with my girlfriend! i'm going to get her
flowers, and candy, its going to be great!
Ben: dude... you're such a god damn Hallmark
Hallmarked
by Solid Oak on Mar 12, 2016 12:12:44
The process under which a person is transformed from a skeptical,
Scrooged, hater of all things sappy, into a lover of
serendipitous, spontaneous, acceptor that sappy has a place in their life with the person they love. This process is very much like a
Hallmark movie, and he loves her very much.
Example:
It didn't take
Scott long to become Hallmarked once he
met Rebecca.
hallmark movie
by Gregdslagathor117 on Dec 24, 2015 04:56:50
1. A movie shown on television that has the same basic plot as
fifty or more other movies on the same network.
2. A movie often on the television behind a man who has just
given up on life.
Example:
1. If I continue to watch these
hallmark movies I will just die.
Person 1: Did you see the new
hallmark Christmas movie?
Person 2: Do you mean the same Damn movie as last year?
Person 1: Yeah.
Hallmark Movies
by Bobo00/01 on Nov 14, 2018 10:26:56
1) Most commonly for majority of white people in America to watch, to get that holiday mood going.
2) That same basic movie, involving
rich white people having the "
American Dream Christmas".
3) Always ends with an unrealistic
happy ending.