Mr T

The only man that can look Chuck Norris in the eye and not die instantly, Due to his high levels of Awesome.



Mr T
Played plane fearing, milk drinking, ass kicking BA Baracus in the A Team.
Pitied fools and tried to present a good role model to chilren at the same time.
Produced the world's best motivational video, which everyone should live their lives by, includes sections on how to recoup after doing something absoludicrous and what to do if your friends find alcohol and cigarettes in a bin, get instantly high and offer some to you (peer pressure).
Owner of huge amounts of jewellery.
Example:
"Mr T knows how to treat his mother right and he was in the A-Team, that makes him a god."


Mr T
Similar to an Abe Lincoln only with the Mr T you will need to shave the persons head. Cum on her face and down the center of her scalp, shave your pubic hair and stick it on your cum...all while saying eat your drugs, get 8 hours of milk, drink you sleep...or i Pity the fool
Example:
Did you hear about Kim? Yeah she got Mr T'd last night.


Mr. T
The last person who looked at Mr. T was Ray Charles.

At the end of every rainbow is Mr. T. It is another way for Mr. T to pity fools. Everyone knows Mr. T ate the leprechaun.

Some believe that Mr. T. is unintelligent because he uses what we believe to be made up words like jibba jabba. However those words are the answers to the most complicated mathematical problems in the universe. Mr. T. has known this his entire life and does not tell anyone because ones brain would implode if you tried to comprehend the question. Mr. T. pities those who try.

On the 0th day, Mr. T created God. Then made God do the rest of the work while Mr. T pitied him.

The punishment for manslaughter in El Salvador is 35 years of Mr. T's pity without parole

Mr. T can smell some things up to six miles away

Mr. T uses e before i as he pleases.

The last time Mr. T and Chuck Norris teamed up, Atlantis sunk.

Mr. T does not have dinner parties. The one and only dinner party he had he served mohawks of fury and double fists of pain.

Gary Coleman met an early death when Mr. T ate him, mistaking him for a Ho-Ho.

Few people know that "The A-Team" was completely true. The only thing the producers invented was that the A-Team had been in Vietnam. If Mr. T had actually been fighting for the US in Vietnam, Saigon would be the capital of America's fifty-first state right now.

When Mr. T was 18-months old he ended World War II. He simply folded his arms, shook his head, and the entire Nazi Armies stopped at once. When Hitler tried to protest Mr T. killed him, took all the country's Gold, and fashioned it into chains for all to see. Sources say that Hitler was the first pitied fool.

The term "baker's dozen" was created because Mr. T scared the baker so much that he gave him an extra donut.

Mr. T is very superstitious. Because of this, he tears off the head of any black cat that crosses his path. In fact, he tears off the head of just about any animal that crosses his path. Mr. T can never be too careful.

One night Mr. T took a 10 p.m. train home. He still refuses to give it back.

I was going to make a Random Mr. T Fact, but he pitied me into not doing it.

Mr.T was the pope, twice

After Jesus turned water into wine, Mr. T turned that wine into blood and disappeared in a cloud of smoke. When the smoke settled all that remained was a giant wooden "T" and Jesus knew he was in trouble.

Mr. T walked in front of a speeding bus. Needless to say, he was charged with 7 counts of manslaughter

Mr. T destroyed the periodic table, saying Mr. T. only recognizes the element of surprise.

When asked for his thoughts on vegetarians, Mr. T said: “If god didn’t want us to eat animals he wouldn’t have made them out of meat…Fool.”

Mr. T is hung like a 8 year old. No, seriously... his penis is the size of a small boy.

The film "Brokeback Mountain" was originally pitched as an off-beat romance starring Mr. T and Chuck Norris. The sole reason the two legends declined the starring roles is because if Mr. T and Chuck Norris were to kiss, there would be new meaning to the word homosexual...it would mean "obligation"

Mr. T has removed Pee Wee Herman from existence for making fun of his cereal.

During the first season of American Gladiators, 24 contestants died while attempting to run the Eliminator. The Eliminator was a cardboard cutout of Mr. T.

Mr. T is slated to star in the hit show formerly known as "Everybody Loves Raymond," which was changed to "Everyone Tolerates Raymond" last season and will now become "Mr. T Pities Raymond."

If the pity emanating from Mr. T could be harnessed the resulting energy would power the entire Earth for 3 generations. However, the cost of developing and constructing a structure that could withstand and contain such an overwhelming amount of concentrated pity could power the entire Earth for 4 generations.

Before Mr.T was born there were only 25 letters in the alphabet.

Contrary to popular belief, it wasn't the planes that killed King Kong, nor beauty, but instead the fear of being pitied by Mr. T.

Mr. T once entered a Hot Dog eating contest. He ate a record 93 hot dogs, a 72 oz. steak, two pedestrians, a streetlamp, and a judge who called him "that guy from the A-Team".
Example:
Mr. T puts laughter in manslaughter.


Mr. T
A Nubian powerhouse who fought cancer and beat it so bad, he has pitied it ever since. Mr. T is a former boxer, wrestler, bouncer and current actor who's regular arm-wrestling matches with Chuck Norris and Till Lindemann have been responsible for both the recent Japanese Earthquakes near Fukusima and the Somalia drought respectively. Mr. T is one of the most powerful and compassionate men in history, both crushing and pitying his aversaries with equal measure. He is also humble, allowing Sylvester Stallone to put hands on him briefly to facilitate the filming of Rocky III. Do not, however, think of him as soft... Throughout the filming of The A-Team, he flat out refused to tolerate mental illness in Murdoch, considering it a weakness, stating throughout the series that he unequivocately "pitties the foo'". Mr. T is also a true humanitarian who gave nearly all his gold necklaces (Enough to smother an Egyptian Pharoah 3-times over) away after helping with the Hurricane Katrina cleanup effort. In short - A Total Fucking Legend.
Example:
In the time you took to read this, Mr. T built a tank out of two milk cartons, three lawn-darts, a tube of lubricant and a beat-up old 80's van. He then drove said tank through the reinforced doors of a burning barn in South America and managed to topple a paramilitary dictator without actually killing anyone. The fuck have YOU done today?


Mr. T
the only person who can survive being jumped on the head by super mario.

the only person who can look chuck norris in the eyes, without instantly exploding.

the only person who wears 200 pounds of gold chains 24/7.

the reason why the roman empire, the nazi's and sovjet russia no longer exist.

just by reading this, you are pitied by him.

his name is Mr. T.
Example:
'I PITY THE FOOL!'

russian: 'in sovjet russia, fools pity Mr. T!'
Mr T.: *punches russian in the chest* stop saying jibba jabba, fool!


Mr. T
The new substitution for the 'Chuck Norris' Jokes. As with Steven Segal. He has he's own individual potential for jokes, but most people just replace the names of the persona 'facts'.
This does not, however, change the awesome righteousness of Mr. T.
Mr. does pity. And I'm a afraid it's you, 'fool'.
Pain!
Example:
'Speed walking? I pity you fool!'

Mr. T and/or Chuck Norris and/or Steven Segal don't read books, they stare them down until the books give them the information.

The new word of the day is PAIN!!!!!!

During the first season of American Gladiators, 24 contestants died while attempting to run the Eliminator. The Eliminator was a cardboard cutout of Mr. T.


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