Suburbanitis

1. A condition whereby any metropolitan area has its crime statistics exponentially increased or embellished by a person whose residence has fallen outside said area for at least three-quarters of their life.2. Rarely visiting a city because of an irrational fear or stubborn ignorance.



Suburbanitis
The condition in which one is so bored of their seemingly perfect suburban lifestyle to the point where they feel the need to rebel, do bad in school, etc. to fufil their boredom.
Example:
I'm so tired of this boring suburban town.

It sounds like you have suburbanitis.


Suburbanitis
-Noun

acute or chronic inflammation of the desire to keep up with the “Joneses”, caused by dual income heterosexual marriages, irrational desires to live in a poorly built and unoriginal home while acquiring as much debt as possible, or exposure to the “real” world including poverty and violence
Example:
Since they have been married, Melinda and Edward suffer from such bad suburbanitis; I don't know how they manage to pay their mortgage with their four cars, boat, motorcycle, and constant traveling abroad.


Suburban
A full size SUV made by GM under the name plate of the Chevrolet Suburban and the GMC Yukon XL. Up until 2000, the GMC model was also a Suburban. The Cadillac Escalade ESV is also based on the Suburban platform.

The Suburban has a reputation as a soccer mom vehicle. This was not always the case, only recently has this become a common sighting. The Suburban has become the soccer Mom vehicle in the past decade or so because the Suburban has gone the way of most SUVs. These days they're full of luxury bits and electronic gizmos that make it easier for soccer moms to drive them. Leather, heated seats, rear camera, power lift gate, remote start and push button electronic four wheel drive. The Suburban used to be a large vehicle that the soccer Moms were intimidated by because of it's massive size, weight and fuel consumption. The Suburban is 18 ft. long and until such inventions as the rear camera and obstacle detection systems, was difficult to park.

The Suburban used to be a utilitarian vehicle with cloth bench seats that would allow you to haul 9 people with room for gear. The Suburban, the new ones, are a soccer Mom vehicle, used to shuttle little Billy to school and soccer practice. But a used Suburban, especially one more than 20 years old, can be had for as little as $1000. The pre-1992 models are inexpensive to lift as high as 12 inches. Parts are dirt cheap to buy in junk yards everywhere. The old Suburban is a real truck!
Example:
Guy1: So who's turn is it to drive for this weekend's fishing trip?
Guy2: I believe it's my turn, we'll take my truck.
Guy3: You have a truck? All I've ever seen you drive is your Cobalt.
Guy2: That's because I don't drive it every day, it's my spare vehicle.
Guy1: What kind of truck is it?
Guy2: It's a Chevy Suburban.
Guy3: (laughs) Do you have to ask permission from the wife to see if little Johnny has a soccer game before you can take it to go fishing?
Guy2: No. I don't have any kids and my wife hates the Suburban. She drove it once and she hates it.
Guy1: What year is it?
Guy2: It's a Ninety Four with a big block.
Guy3: Damn!


suburban
The token soccer mom SUV. Usually has 4-5 bumper stickers on the tailgate bragging about how her little shit plays little-league soccer and/or is an honor student at the local middle school.
Example:
I laugh everytime I see a suburban in my neighborhood because they're so predictable. Always being driven by an overweight 35-40 year old woman.


suburbanized
Defined as the personality transformation you go thru when moving from the hood to the suburbs. Usually a black person who slowly turns into a under cover white person. starts saying things like " oh my gosh" and "like" after every word. Listening to rock alternative music.. playing beer pong and drinking yagermister. start doin and saying crazy things.
Example:
Keke: Damn did u just say you cant wait until the new nickelback cd comes out? who the hell is that ?

Miracle: like You dont know who that is ? Oh My God! its like rock n roll sis! duh!

keke: When THe hell you start listening to rock n roll?

Miracle: all my friends at school do....

Keke: poor thing... you are definitly suburbanized ...


suburban
Something associated with being in or part of a suburb; referring the scale of delelopement between urban and rural; low density housing and commercial areas; referring to the smaller cities outside of major cities that contribute to an overall metropolitan area.
Example:
Jason and Jennifer, two siblings, live in a suburban community just outside of Boston. Their mother drives a Ford Explorer to her suburban job at a telemarketing center. She picks Jason up from soccer practice every Tuesday and Thursday afternoon. The father takes the freeway into Boston every morning to be to his office job by 9:00 AM. He leaves work at 5:00 PM and is home by 6:00 PM, just in time for supper at his suburban home, where his mother and children await his arrival.


suburban
The roughest lifestyle on the planet.
Example:
Suburbanite 1: "Man, its rough living in suburban America."
Suburbanite 2: "Man, I know, going to college and all that stuff is brutal."
Suburbanite 1: "Hey, I know! Lets go to the mall and buy stuff. That'll cheer us up.
Suburbanite 2: "Sounds good. We can take my mom's Acura"


Suburban
Anything that is so sickeningly conservative, republican, sheltered, and censored that it is devoid of any sort of growth, emotion, intelligence, or even real in any shape, way, or form of the word.
Example:
1.George Carlin: Don't be so suburban! Gay, Straight, it's all the same. There's no lines anymore.

Jay 'N' Silent Bob: Well there's a line here, and on this side of it, We Ain't gay.

2.Old Lady: I just don't think it's appropriate to put Jesus in an action cartoon!

Strung Out Cartoonist: Come on lady! That's so freaking suburban


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