calgarian

Obviously, a person from Calgary, Alberta, the second- most westernly province in Canada. They're pretty damn cool people. And have a great hockey team!



calgarian
A typical Calgarian forms part of a giant collective or hive mind. Unlike the Borg, it is almost impossible to become assimilated into this 'old boys network'.

They have robotic tendancies and will eat meals at the same time as their peers. Everything is perfect for the Calgarian, and they rarely find the need to discover the world beyond the Calgary city limits; preferring to visit the zoo for the 1019th time.

The Calgarian often drives a large pick up truck, although rarely uses the rear box to transport cargo. SUVs are becoming more popular, and often driven by mothers.

The lower class Calgarian is often distinguished by their appearance; often sporting a large greasy mullet topped with a 'Molsen Canadian' baseball cap. These are often spotted around areas known as Dover or Forest Lawn.

Musical tastes are limited to country, 'lite rock' and US-style Hip hop and clothing fashions are often 2-3 years behind other major centers in the world.
Example:
That was great hockey last night eh?


calgarian
Calgarian:

-was able to buy overpriced things but doesn't have artistic sense or taste
-is self-centred in believing good old hay day and Alberta is the savior for other parts of Canada
-is coarse in temperament
-likes routine life – working on weekdays, doing grocery on weekends (does shopping cart rage)
-stubborn and narrow-minded rightist
-never admits Calgary is just an inland city
Example:
If someone says, "You know what we feed most Canadians. We got oil & gas industry. Calgary is a new city without old things that are eyesores to the Calgarian belief."
Whoever thinks like that must be a Calgarian.


Calgarian
The complete and true embodiment of the definition of the word 'basic'. The females of the species are often seen in public sporting yoga pants, swell water bottles, oversized fake nails, a large latte from Rosso or Phil & Sebastian and a minimum of two ill-raised screaming children. The males can be seen driving Ford F150s customized to span three lanes, whilst clad head to toe in Flames apparel (or an overpriced suit) with a rear-window decal reading 'Git'er Done' or 'Support Domestic Violence'. If the windows of the pussay magnet are down at a red light you'll almost certainly hear the racist ramblings of Ted Nugent or the raw dick-kicking power of Nickleback flowing boisterously out into the street at Lollapalooza-like volume. Weekday activities include 'working hard' from 9-5, practicing entitlement, taking highway exits at the last possible second from the far left lane, saying prayers to oil and not minding their own fucking business. Weekend activities include the zoo, Superstore, teaching children entitlement in public places like busy cafes, 'walking around' or enjoying the mundanity of St. Patrick's Island.
Example:
- Woah that guy in the business suit with the flames hat just lost his shit at the cashier for not smiling enough when she gave him his coffee.

-Oh don't mind him he's just Calgarian.


Calgarian Cnekah
The Calgarian Cnekah is when you fuck a girl's asshole (with a penis or a strap-on) until it bleeds, then you suck the ass dry, causing you to vomit back into her ass, which gives her an infection and she has to get her ass surgically removed, at which point you take said ass and blend it for 15 hours and bake it on 420c for 5 days; you then eat the baked blended ass.
Example:
I did the Calgarian Cnekah to my bbg last weekend, and she will not forgive me!


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