coffe's

In old Scots the word "coff" meant to buy, purchase, or barter (Scottish Dictionary by John Jamieson 1840)Coff is still used in some parts of the North East of Scotland most predominantly in Dingwall and Muir-of-Ord (The Muir) usually following "gudgie" (a short stout fellow J. Jamieson, 1840) but today refers to any type of man "gudgie-coff" or just "coff"The historical use of gudgie-coff may have referred to a fatman who was buying or purchasing something in the market towns of Dingwall and Muir of Ord but this is unproven. Nevertheless, there are certainly plenty fatmen purchasing things still today in Dingwall at the local Tesco.



coff
A sly way to tell someone, fuck off. Normally used by pupils towards their teachers, or by any one towards a person of authority. Sometime followed by a pretend cough (the more sarcastic the better).
Example:
Teacher : Ben, i know you've just arrived in class but are you messing about already.
Pupil : coff.


Coff
Lazy/discrete/suttle way of saying FUCKOFF
The repulsive excuse for a human who is speaking to you does not even deserve to be insulted in a way that utilizes your full energy. Simply coff them. You may also cough them aswell cough cough.
Example:
-Boss: "Braden why don't you do some work and clean the store for once"
Braden: "Coff old man Rivers"

-Ben wanted to come to Nick's penthouse suite tonight, although upon not bringing the bad bitches Nick simply told him to "coff".

-"Do you have any change?" COUGH COUGH


Coffe
"Student coffe"

- slang for canabise used when you don't want your mom to know you are going to smoke some weed with your stoned friends
Example:
" Ay John do you want to go with me and drink some coffe?"


gudgie coff
gudgie coff or gadgie coff is a highland term for a person believe it or not, commonly heard in dingwall. The dingwall peoples aren't that bright, mostly inbred as well so have made up their own launaguage. To speak it right - hold your nose, fill your mouth full of marbles and speak from the back of your throat.
Example:
john: what like mun, whats the crack the day, going on the shot the night coff, here coff, who's that gadgie coff over there mun , never seen him before like ?

peter: auch no bad mun like, aye thats eh, eh, thats that gudgie coff, whats him name again like, eh, eh, aye thats gugdie from alness like mun. better be off now mun see-ya later like mun.


Coffs Harbour
A place full of extremely arrogant, hostile people. A secret survey by the tourist board recently found it was the second least friendly town in ALL Australia.

A place where the motels are all 40+ years old but still charge like a new one even though it's right next to a very busy noisy highway and you WON'T be getting any sleep.

A place where there are no jobs but everyone still judges you a lot for not having one.
Example:
A: I'm going to Coffs Harbour

B: Why not just punch yourself in the head, it'll feel the same and be less expensive.


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