customer

Barely sentient, shambling creature. Close relative of the Zombie. Generally seen in vicinity of hassled shop staff, shaving points of their IQ with inane banter.



customer
Some of the time, they can be very nice. Most of the time, unfortunately, they are pieces of shit that want you to bend the rules just for them. If they complain to your boss, don't bother telling your side of the story because you just can't win.
Example:
Customers make my work life horrible.


customer
someone who pays money for something

also relates to the word COCK somehow paradoxically
Example:
"customer"
"HAHAHAHAHAHA"


customer
noun:
1. a respected client or patron that financially supports an establishment by using their services or purchasing their merchandise.
2. (in some stores) A common criminal that must be watched, video taped, herded through electronic detection devices like cattle and have their purchases riffled through & checked against the receipt by friskers at the exit of the store.
Example:
Store owner 1: "My customers are the most valued asset of my business. I'll not have them disturbed or badgered in any way."

Store boner 2: "Customer is just another word for an undetected criminal. If I had my way, I'd have the customers turn out their pockets before they leave, and have their purses, strollers and everything searched as well. In fact, that's what I'm working towards. Slowly, I remove one respectful treatment after another, until I am finally strip searching the customers as they leave. It's similar to the gradual way the Hitler removed the rights of the Jews prior to the holocaust, one by one. After a while, they will expect to be treated as the criminals that I'm sure the lot of them are, and will even defend my right to do it. And the best part is, the cost of all this added security won't increase the prices, because when I increase the security, I'll just decrease the customer service to compensate."


customer
n. trucker term for the person with whom a law enforcement officer is currently occupied. When the cop has a customer, he can't come after you.
Example:
Oh no, there's the fuzz! Oh, nevermind. He's got a customer. Hammer down!


Customer
An incredibly stupid person. These people are often found in department and grocery stores and show no signs of common sense. Many times they can be rude, cruel, and obnoxious.
Example:
This store has too many horrible customers ruining our job.


Customer
An acronym that stands for “Completely Unreasonable Selfish Twit, Often Miserable and Ethically Reprehensible.”

While most often used to describe idiotic, self-entitled shoppers or other patrons, this swear word can be used to refer to anyone whose actions are born of a sense of entitlement and general lack of higher brain function.

Many customers are unaware that this word is an insult, and will proudly use it when referring to themselves and their so-called rights.
Example:
“I am a customer, I want what I want, and you don’t get to ask questions!”
“Wow, he started yelling at you because you wouldn’t have unprotected sex with a complete stranger? What a fucking customer.”
“He is such a customer if he thinks you can get an hour and a half of footage down to 15 minutes and still use ‘a lot’ of it.”


Customers
Smart-Arse -Know-It alls who go into other people's work places of an evening such as restaurants and tell waiter-staff how to do their jobs and the chefs how to cook and mainly cause havoc and distess, after they knock off from their own jobs becasue of their little lives. Sometimes customers are know as "The Little People" for the naivity and demonstrations of brainless behaviour and overall dumbness.

They sit there arses down wherever they like without having the common decency of finding the maitra' d and get pissed off when they are removed from the reserved table.

When/if unsatisfied with thier meals, they don't want the problem to be solved, but prefer to make smart-arse remarks about the food.

They also go by a huge range of dereogotory terms genearted by frustrated kitchen staff and waitstaff. Customers defeat their own purpose.
Example:
"I thought we could sit here" or "Why can't we sit here?" (may also put up a battle)

Forget what they ordered

Pass up/pile up plates, despite it being bad etiqutte, throwing off "The Gameplan" and smashing things in the process and then saying some dumbshit thing like: "I should let you do it, eh"? WELL, FUCK!

Make unnecessary remarks such as

Customer 1: "I wouldn't feed that to my dog"- meanwhile the meal is perfect.

Come in a wide varity of classes: "Working Class"- The most thuggish and threaten to bash you.

"The Middle Class"- The biggest whingers, tell YOU how to do your job. These fuckwit customers also don't know what it is like to be loaded up with plates and unable to move cheap grog out of the way. Sometimes they think that they are helping, but just fuck up the game plan resulting in an extra trip or worse, broken plates etc.

"Yuppies/ upper middle class" customers- WILL give you the blow by blow of how to do your job. They must also give every single fucken metaphor and simile in the fucken thesaurous to demonstrate how disatified with the food, the tempreture of the room and bitch about the wine, in which the bar staff can do nothing about. These fuckwits want the problem to be solved even less than the middlecalss and won't be satisified until YOUR blood is ON their hands. These are also known as Cuntfaces


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