Originally coined by Alex
Linder of VNN fame, the term USAble disparagingly denotes United States citizenship while simultaneously implying that the individual to whom the term is applied allows themselves to be “used” for nefarious purposes contrary to their immediate interests as an autonomous human being.
While most USAbles are mere
dupes, a minority of die-hards who truly believe government
agitprop offer themselves up with utmost glee, so that they can be “shaped” and used up, like any other expendable commodity, by government institutions like public schools and the many branches of the military. To the government who commands them, the USAble is
tossable, not unlike a used, pre-moistened
baby wipe or a sheet of
single-ply toilet paper.
Prominent examples of USAbles include (but are not limited to) public school teachers, U.S. military personnel, and adherents to contemporary evangelical Christianity. USAbles often spend inordinate amounts of time containing the cognitively
dissonant thoughts that their relationship with the government may foster.
Although the USAble may experience temporary gains from entering into USAble-style relationships with the government, the ultimate
endpoint of this type of relationship always results in unidirectional benefits, with the government being the sole beneficiary of said relationships. USAbles in the military frequently meet with combat-related dismemberment or even death while attempting to
wheedle pittances like “college money” from the government they chose to serve.
Example:
I hope those mercenary-minded USAbles
trudging around in Iraq come back with their writing hands intact; putting that “college money” to good use is going to be kind of hard if their arms have been reduced to
twitching nubs by improvised explosive devices!