voluntary

do it or you will lose your Job



voluntary bum
young people, early twenties, fresh out of college, who choose willingly not to seek employment and will often live at the parental residence for a period of time ranging from 6 months to a year.

The voluntary bum partakes in virtually no social activity, ignoring calls from friends and/or extended family, dismissing invitations to social events, etc. The voluntary bums involve themselves in the simpler joys, such as, sleeping, eating, reading the books they never had the time to read, watching the movies they couldn't go to, etc. On the surface, the voluntary bum seems to act exactly like your average bum.

However, unlike regular bums, The voluntary bums are merely resting from the bullshit they had to endure while in the educational system. i.e. pretty much their whole life until now.

While seemingly lounging about with no goal in life, the voluntary bum is actually slowly mustering a plan of action, which once he/she has fully figured out, will be used to go forth in adult life, serene.
Example:
A: hey man have you seen D around? he's been MIA for the past couple months.
B: Oh yeah, I heard he had become a voluntary bum. He'll probably come out of his retreat in a few months.
C: darn, D is a cool frood with a plan. I wish I had voluntarily bummed after college.


voluntary tourettes
Voluntary Tourettes is a disease that causes people to say outlandish, intrusive, offensive, or overly Freudian comments; even though they know better and could easily restrain themselves. It can inflict any age, sex, or race. However, it has long been recognized to be more prevalent in mother-in-laws. Symptoms can be mimicked or compounded by alcohol.
Example:
Sorry babe, its her voluntary tourettes


voluntary celibate
a really nice person with a healthy moral compass who is strong enough to resist the cultural pressures to marry and have sex. They choose to be alone so they can think, learn, grow, and make the world a better place. They are often bullied and harassed by people for making this choice because no one can handle their badassness.
Example:
Male person: Is it okay if I'm a voluntary celibate?
Female person: You're a misogynistic pig and an incel! You hate women and it's disgusting! Your mother was a woman, and if it wasn't for her, you wouldn't be alive!

Male person: But I'm not hurting anyone. I just prefer to be alone, that's all. Why don't you just respect my decision and be kind to other people who have different worldviews?
Female person: OMG! Are you telling me what to do, you white trash loser?! I'm a woman, not your puppet. Fuck off!

Male person: And that is why I'm proud to be a voluntary celibate!


voluntary sex
Sex that is for planned.
Example:
"Oj Simpson wanna have sex?"
"Sure"
"So now it looks like I don't have to rape you!"
"So this is voluntary sex?"


Voluntary assisted dying
It means that a person can ask a doctor to kill themselves. To do that they must be suffering an illness and have decision making capability. 99.9% of the people who are suffering an illness don't have decision making capability.
Example:
Voluntary assisted dying is the best way to kill yourself.


voluntary loss of stool
When you have to leave a shit (I know, it's supposed to be take a shit, but in the immortal words of the late great comedian George Carlin, you don't take a shit, you leave a shit!), you tell whomever is nearby that you need to go and experience voluntary loss of stool.
This is the most gentle, curse-free way to say that you need to go and pinch a loaf.
Example:
{Paul}: Hold on a few minutes there George, I need to run and have voluntary loss of stool!
{George}: Ok, whatever Paul. :-/


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