One of the most influential thinkers of all time. He lived durring the Spring and Autum Period, durring the decline of Zhou China. Confucius tried and failed to obtain political office in his lifetime, and his greatest legacy is in the Analacets which his diciples compiled after his death.

Confucius stresses a simple life of filial piety and devotion to ritual. Like most great thinkers, his ideas would eventually be mangled beyond recognition by those seeking traditional justification for misogyny, xenophobia and a number of other nasty concepts espoused by Neo-Confucianists.

Chinese philosopher whose Analects contain a collection of his sayings and dialogues compiled by disciples after his death.

The man whose teachings are indirectly responsible for the pressures that Asian parents impose on their children

Confucius was a Chinese teacher and philosopher born 551 BC in Zou. His teachings are obviously influenced by a mixture of tea, heroin, sugar, cocaine, LSD, blueberries, apple juice, methamphetamine, prozac, zoloft, lots of ambien and a pinch of salt. He would normally make this mixture and ingest it about 15 minutes before meditating. When he would come out of his meditative state which usually lasted anywhere from 15 minutes to 126 days he would then write down his sayings. He also made his own paper in a mill he had built in his back yard. He never wrote anything on Saturday or Monday, not for religious reasons but because his wife ran a part time restaurant out of his paper mill building on those two days preventing him from making paper. He wrote the recipes for the restaurant which included several savory cat and dog meat stir fry dishes along with a customer favorite desert made from vultures liver baked into a pie and served with a light glaze made of sugar mixed with warm stomach acid from a North American snailshank whipperfish. Confucius died in 479 BC and was buried in 1976.

A hand-job, or manual release, from a Chinese massage therapist of at least 50 years of age.

confucius a master debater! He teach the way of the wang, and unleashing the dragon upon unsuspecting people!

A dutch nigga ganster with afrow, but not today he has had his haircut!!

The beginning of a sometimes comical, often horrible joke.

The basis of lame jokes that involve the philosopher Confucius