CrossFit
A bunch of rich white people paying $250/mo. to have an uncredentialed coach
instruct them to have spasms with
PVC pipe and siezures on
pull-up bars until they vomit. They generally do this for a period of 10-30 minutes and call it a workout. Those who partake in these group activities also have the option to pay $1000 to attend a weekend course where they have an alcoholic instruct them how to better lift their PVC pipe. Some people who do these activities may also confuse being nauseous with being elite.
CrossFit
by Grouch Classman on Jun 22, 2011 05:44:09
A new and expensive way of re-branding
boot camp and
circuit training. Also a method of
selling out while pretending to be hardcore and underground.
Example:
CrossFit makes men smaller and women
hotter.
The average CrossFit male wears
an extra medium shirt.
Crossfit
by seasonsgreetingsbilly on Mar 03, 2013 12:45:52
the Scientology of fitness. Sometimes known as "
Cultfit."
Like most
cults:
-Their subjects are put into physically and/or emotionally distressing situations, breaking their will over time.
-Their problems are
oversimplified and repeatedly emphasized.
-They are unconditionally "loved," accepted, and receive "guidance" from a charismatic "leader."
-Their identity is now based on the group.
-They are, in a subtle way, encouraged to break off ties from friends and/or family who do not participate in this newfound CULTure.
-Access to external information is severely monitored and/or controlled.
Example:
A: "Wasn't Eric supposed to go out with us today?"
B: "No, he mentioned something about Crossfit and a
WOD."
A: "What about the concert on Friday?"
B: "Nope. He's watching some sort of Crossfit competition on the
East side."
A: "Well, what about your wedding next month? Isn't he a
groomsman?"
B: "He had to cancel so he could try out for the Crossfit Games."
A: "Wow, Eric has turned into a cunt."
B: "He says he only does it for the exercise and doesn't really like the people at his gym, but I'm starting to believe he has fallen to dark side. Sometimes I think he cannot be saved from this superficial
idiocy."
CrossFIT
by Coach Hater on Feb 26, 2012 21:50:24
A cult/organization of failed athletes who are coached by trainers that have purchased online certifications claiming to be
world class olympic
lifters.
Facilities offering 'functional' training by incorporating epileptic pull up techniques, high intensity olympic lifts and other circus acts posing as strength development methodologies.
Workouts are comprised of
a heap of confusing exercises at high repetition with no result driven motivation.
If this method of training does not make you puke while performing it will make you puke by observing.
Example:
Athlete A: Dude your swinging
pull ups make you look so hardcore.
Athlete B: Not only am I hardcore, I'm
crossfit.
Today's
WOD was the best 9 minutes of my baby sisters life
Crossfit
by Flufficus X on Feb 24, 2014 10:24:59
verb (used without an object) cross-fit-ted, cross-fit-ting
1. A popular act in
men's bathhouses. Usually involving a group of men in a line,
periodically moving to new locations in
the line.
Example:
-The boys and I
crossfit pretty
regularly.
-I crossfitted so much last week; I can barely walk straight!
-We're crossfitting tonight; you should join us,
big boy.
Crossfit
by The eye collector on May 03, 2016 22:50:58
A pretend sport which
self proclaimed athletes compete to lift various weights and perform moves with terrible form, usually resulting in injury. The term
wod is used to make these workouts more appealing
to fat woman.
Example:
1. Russ " hey fellas, fancy a quick
wod?"
Phil " yeah man,
crossfit brings out the best in me"
Russ " I got this great move from
JML for £14.95"
W Ian " you guys are fucking benders"
CrossFIT
by Skin DIver on Apr 09, 2022 03:00:20
A
Conga Line consisting of 6 or more
naked Men during a
foam party. In the line, the men hold the Penis' of the Man in front of them while singing Country cover songs.
Example:
Hey Johnny are you going to
CrossFit? I hear they are covering "Friends in
Low Places" and "Unanswered Prayers".
Great, I will
lube up and get out the wacky noodles, you foam up the Sauna and gather the Guys. Don't forget the Cowboy Hats!!!