my monkey Definition| Urban Word Dictionary

my monkey

person not worthy of the fuckin name itself

Spank My Monkey

by J-Al on Jan 04, 2009 13:54:36

another way of saying to masturbate; to beat off.

Example:
"I get so much ass I never find time to spank my monkey."

Play with my Monkey

by Bad Ass Mr.Clyde on Apr 21, 2018 07:27:55

Self gratification, to masturbate with ones self,male or female,play with my monkey

Example:
Damn that girl is hot,hang on a minute buddy,I'm going to go "Play with my Monkey" real quick!!

fuck my monkey

by towanda on Mar 24, 2005 13:32:25

1. Yet another exclaimation of extreme disappointment. Usually uttered after a disheartending discovery.

2. Used in place of "I'll be!", or "you are kidding me".

Example:
"You dumped a bowl of icecream on the carpet?? Aw, fuck my monkey!"

"Well, fucky my monkey.... I just saw my cousin on TV!"

My Monkey Baby

by Spencer, Laryn & Ara on Oct 05, 2009 13:01:34

implying that the baby you gave birth to is really fucking ugly.

Based on the TLC hit drama series "My Monkey Baby"

Example:
My Monkey Baby likes to wear make-up.

My Monkey Baby got super hiii off of my thyroid and estrogen pills.

We were caught speeding after picking up My Monkey Baby.

We had to sneak My Monkey Baby into a cheap motel because we were tired.

I haven't talked to my kids in 5 years because I have been to distracted by My Monkey Baby.

My Monkey Baby is 18 it can go buy cigarettes.

When I'm in a condominium for the Elderly My Monkey Baby will take care of me.

My Monkey Baby Mom's and Dad's aren't that different from other parents.

My Monkey Baby will outlive us so we set up the Will to include her.

Dropped my monkey

by Biggg G on Aug 13, 2020 01:15:36

A cloak and dagger expression to indicate that a girl is incredibly hot. A tribute to Barry in Beerfest who sees a gorgeous girl and exclaims “I think I dropped my monkey”. Useful as can be said in front of said bombshell without suspicion.

Example:
“Ooh, I think I dropped my monkey!”
“I was watching beach volleyball. Kept dropping my monkey”

pet my monkey

by lawnmowerman on Oct 29, 2004 15:29:21

What horndogs like myself do to pass the time when no one is around.

Example:
I am so fuckin' thick down below...I just love to pet my monkey all the time.
See also spanking the monkey

spanking my monkey

by deeznoots on Apr 15, 2016 12:52:50

When a male, or transvestite *cough Caitlin jenner* decides to get a little wish in there pants and wants to take themselves to horn dog town, they beat their meat. And when someone beats they meat it is called spanking their monkey

Example:
Man I was on her insta and I just whipped it out and started spanking my monkey

not my circus not my monkeys

by peskycritter on Nov 30, 2017 09:41:40

It's got nothing to do with me,and I'm not really interested anyway.

Example:
"All this fuss going on at the moment about the lack of government funding for pre-school childcare so mothers can work? Sorry,not my circus not my monkeys". (From an old Polish proverb).

not my monkey, not my circus

by WSDC on Mar 06, 2017 02:46:11

this phrase is used when friends or family are discussing other peoples drama and/or trying to get involved in said drama.

Example:
Mike: i can't believe that joe's wife is trying to break up their sons relationship with his girlfriend.
John: well, i hope they can work it out instead
Mike: i think we should call Mike and try to talk him out of this very bad decision, maybe we could help fix this situation

John: hey look dude, its not my monkey, not my circus. I'm not getting involved in that shitshow domestic problem

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