An Italian-American that pretends to be Italian by: Talking with a thick New York accent; driving their cars way too fast with techno music blasting; dressing in tight clothes/valour, with their hair slicked back, gold chains, bracelets and rings and chest hair sticking out; usually being of ignorant towards gays and minorities and disrespectfull of woman; lives in Staten Island or Howard Beach, Queens; gives Italians a bad name although it's okay for Italians to be guidos as long as they dont share the aassholee attitude that most guidos do.

An adolescent or young-adult American male of Italian ancestry or descent; esp. one of lower-middle-class socioeconomic background or status and thought of as being dim-witted, excessively aggressive, and prejudiced against perceived outsiders, particularly homosexuals and members of other races.

A man of Italian decent, who, after he has finished snorting obnoxious amounts of cocaine and fist bumped holes into your wall, would like nothing more than to take a power dump on your couch to assert his dominance and convert your daughters ez-bake oven into a tanning bed for his dick. Traditionaly a guido's goal in life is to make trashy classy.(i.e. designer wifebeaters). Guido's have often been described as a gym rat/date rapist with class.

A guy who works out way too much, wears muscle shirts, has his hair slicked back, and has problems forming a coherent sentence.

A certain type of douchebag that lives in the New York City metro and is usually of Italian descent (although in my town, some of the Guido-types are Irish, Jewish, Hispanic, or Eastern Europea in addition to Italian.) You can find him in Brooklyn, in Westchester, the Bronx, Long Island, New Jersey, Staten Island, etc.
They are known for driving fast, tricked-out cars like BMW's, with which they blast their God-awful techno music.
They can be spotted wearing spiked-up hair smothered in gel, and often go out for fake tans.
They sport clothes such as A|X (an alternative, Politically-correct term for Guidos in my town is "A|X kids.") They also wear wife-beaters (they're behavior mirrors the name of those clothes.)
They also carry around Nextels that make the awful chirping noises.
They are generally all-around assholes who smoke pot, drink, harass people, live frivilously off of their wealthy or middle class parents, and trash people's property.

a person so uneducated that he judges the success of another individual by the amount of jewelry or car they drive.

A species of porcupine, confined to mostly New York, New Jersey, and Rhode Island

See: thegirlbehindthelipstick.blogspot.com/2010/10/guido-survival-mechanisms.html

A sad excuse for a male. Guido's spend most of their time at the Jersey shore at a bar called Dejays. There, you can find them pounding yegabombs and hitting on under age girls. The guido attire consists of shirts two sizes too small. They will then pop the collar on their shirt and undo about three or so buttons to reveal their shaven and tanned (sometimes with ingrown hairs) chest. Guidos will wear sunglasses not just during the day but also at night and inside dark night clubs. This makes them feel cool and "gangsta". They are usually involved in many violent attacks where usually 10 of them will jump one single person. This is due to their rage brought on by growth hormones and steroid which have an effect on their already undeveloped brains. Also known as Douche bags, the guido will idolize TV shows such as The Sopranos or Entourage and will try to impress douche bag girls with their Tony Montana (AlPacino in Scarface) impersonation. As mentioned before, it is best not look directly at them as this will make them feel threatened, and because they have usually overdosed on Protein powder and steroids, they may become violent and initiate a fight for no reason at all.

gotti wannabes, that have hair as tall as their dick wear clothes tighter than there bitches' and adapt the customs of an umpa lumpa in order to succeed in having orange skin.