Longshanks
Nickname for
King Edward I 1272-1307(note England only)Or as he preferred to be called 'The Hammer of the Scots'.Persecuted The Jewsand forced them to wear a
yellow star to identify themselves(sounds familiar?He ordered the execution of Hundreds of Jews and finally ordered to have them expelled(over 600 years before hitler)Conquered Wales in 1284, Then turned his attention to Scotland interfering in royal matters that had nothing to do with him. Helped appoint a Puppet King ,John Balliol in Scotland ,A Yes man ,he could control, in his efforts to conquer the Northern Kingdom. He installed English garrisons in Scottish Castles and Forced The Scottish King to Swear Loyalty to him .A Brutal man who crushed any one who dared oppose him,after stealing the Scots ancient Coronation stone The Stone Of Destinyand had it placed under his own Throne in Westminster, he thought he had conquered his Northern Neighbour,Of Course he was Wrong!Enter William Wallace Who totally Fucked up Longshanks Plans north of the Border,of course he was later betrayed and delivered to Edward and executed in 1305. Longshanks thought at last he had subdued the Scots when up sprang
Robert The Bruce.
The Bruce was Crowned King of Scots In open Defiance in 1307. The same year Longshanks died on the Scottish Border whilst en-route to ''crush''his
opposer.He was Buried in Westminster Abbey in a lead Casket only to be transferred to a Regal Gold casket only when Scotland was Truly conquered and part of the Kingdom of England .
Succeded by his son Edward II,Later to be thoroughly defeated by the Scots in
1314 at the battle of
Bannockburn.
Longshanks
by Trudy1069 on Jun 01, 2005 20:54:52
Word for man with a Long
Shank.
Also known as
Male species who can handle himself better than most in the
nocturnal activities held with the opposite sex.
Example:
Oooh I bet that guy over there has a Long
Shank.
Oh baby, this guy I met last night could Long
Shank it all night long.
longshanks
by windy miller on May 03, 2006 18:15:40
Colloquial term for a man with rancid chat that makes you want to finish your cigarette quickly and get back to work. Invariably will also have an annoying laugh,
bad teeth and will
reuse the same clothing daily and so smells of frozen
eddies.
Example:
Longshanks: "I am tall, when you talk about
tall people they must be taller than me."
Me: "Oh my god, I need to get out of here."
Longshanks: "I believe NHL is the best sport ever, no other sport must be discussed in my presence."
Me: "Does anybody have
a noose handy?"
Longshanks: "I had the best time at Uni, because me and my mates were all tall."
Me: "You are the saddest fuck I have ever met...."
LongShanks
by NotSoNormalGuy on Dec 03, 2019 18:21:26
A Bisexual retard dating the trap
Yoda(
WC) he used to be a normal /
pol/ historian that went full weeb and gay one day, no one knows what disease attacked him but by God theres no cure. Name is based of cool English monarch. Very protective of his bitch Yoda.
Example:
Someone: *Says something insulting about
Yoda*
LongShanks: *Goes on a long
rant about why they're wrong and why hes not gay for dating
yoda*
Edward Longshanks
by Cpt. JLP of the USSE on Aug 22, 2008 13:43:54
Edward I (
17 June 1239 –
7 July 1307), popularly known as
Longshanks, thanks to Mel Gibson's "Braveheart". Longshanks achieved historical fame as the whitest brit to conquer the shit out of parts of Wales and almost succeeded in fucking everyone over in Scotland. But when that prick finally kicked the bucket his queer son Edward II took the throne and just took it right in the ass and failed to do anything to those lovable Scots. Longshanks reigned for a long ass time because he was an evil bastard and everyone knows those fucks live forever.
Example:
Edward
Longshanks probably wanted
to bang that French princess that his son didn't like because she didn't have a penis.
Even though you're
the prince of darkness you're still no Longshanks.