Mall Cop

A security guard in a private property, such as an office building, mall, hospital, hotel, museum, store, etc. As soon as they greet you, they sometimes say, "Can I help you?"



Mall Cop
Contrary to popular belief, not all mall cops are power hungry people who think they are police officers. If a mall cop is an asshole, it's because he has to deal with people who try to ridicule, insult, & degrade him every time he goes to work just to do his job & make some money.

The job of a mall mall cop can actually be quite frustrating. Aside from dealing with wannabe gangster bitches who think they're funny, you have a list of things that you don't get paid enough to do, such as:

-Drive around slowly while everybody & their mother crawls across the street
-Help idiot parents find their idiot missing kids. This happens DAILY, and makes me instantly like those parents you see walking their kids on leashes like the dogs that they are.
-Respond to potentially dangerous fights. News flash, getting paid $10 an hour is not enough for me to risk my life trying to save some wannabe thug from getting his ass beat just because he doesn't know how to talk to people.
-Write long ass reports every time we do something.
If a mall cop takes you out or gives you some shit, GOOD! You're probably some punk ass teenager who deserved it anyways.. You disrespectful little twat.

I am a mall cop, none of us particularly enjoy our jobs that much and we definitely don't think it's glorious. Most all of us are trying to work elsewhere, and a decent amount of us have military experience (including myself). A job is a job.
Example:
Teenage Wannabe Gangster Idiot: *points & laughs* "Haha MALL COP!!"

Mall Cop: *points & laughs* "Haha UNEMPLOYED!!"


Mall Cop
Someone who sweats while riding on a segway. They also "patrol" the mall for minimum wage and act like real cops.
Example:
Malloy: Who are you suppose to be?
Mall cop: I'm Tod Rolland, head of mall security.

Malloy: (sarcastically) WOW! Head of mall security. Minimum wage and you get to ride one of those cool segways.
Mall cop: You dont sound impressed?
Malloy: I'm impressed by the way you manage to sweat on something with wheels.


Mall Cop
Stuck up, snobby people that think they're so cool because they wear a uniform & work for $8/hour inside a mall. They can usually be found harassing kids that look different & ignoring the real trouble makers or can be found making up lies to have a reason to kick kids out of the mall.
Example:
Mall Cop 1: Hey, look it's kids wearing tripps

Mall Cop 2: Yeah, let's go harass them & ignore the kid in jeans shoplifting from that store.

Mall Cop 1: We're the coolest people in the Stroud Mall!


mall cop
Super Lame bitches that think they are all that 'cause they work the mall security for $8 /hour. They generally wear stupid uniforms and prejudge people who fit their "trouble maker criteria" Instead they overlook all the cracker grannies that steal like motherfuckers.
Example:
Mall cop 1: Hey look at those cracker grannies, they are good cocksuckers.
Mall cop 2: Yeah, at $8 /hour that's all I can afford.
Mall cop 1: Stoneridge Mall is full of pig cracker grannies


mall cop syndrome
A condition that causes victims to take their menial jobs way too serious, to the last punctuation of the codebook.
Most common in Asian cities like Singapore where even a janitor truly believes any lapse on his part could cause a national security disaster.
Example:
Got gum or a vape? Beware the mall cop syndrome is everywhere in this city.


Rain Drop Drop Top Catch me on my segway Paul Blart Mall Cop
This a meme which uses rhyme to reference the movie, Pual Blart Mall Cop in order to express humor.
Example:
Bro, that's as funny as that Rain Drop Drop Top Catch me on my segway Paul Blart Mall Cop meme!


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