A pretty dead place that once you live here you can never leave. Less of a shithole than Thatcham, but still full of depressed drug-fuelled teens and 20 somethings that live in the Mackers down Northbrook St.

The only good thing to come out of this place is Jordan Fish, Keyboardist of BMTH and the random giraffes down the A34.

The #1 safest place to live in the United States as of June 9, 2007.
As proclaimed by a US crime rate study.

A male who was raised in Newbury Massachusetts. He probably had his first pot pipe before his teenage years and he threw every fucking thing he could find at cars, houses and the like. He was also probably from a decent family but has done absolutely nothing with his life. If you would like to meet him, just go to the Thirsty Whale at last call. He'll be the one standing at the bar contemplating finger fucking one of the local skanks and also how he is going to elude the pigs on the way home.

West Newbury, Massachusetts has a lot of nothing. West Newbury consists of trees, tractors, deer, fields, and ponds. There is one pizza place, other than that it's pretty boring. There's a castle and also a log cabin. John Cena (wrestler, rapper, actor) was born and raised in West Newbury.

A town in northeastern Massachusetts. The residents are loaded with cash. The median income for a family is over $150,000 and the families in West Newbury aren't afraid to show it.
All the kids from West Newbury end up at Pentucket or private prep schools, and at that point end up blowing all of their parents money on drugs and alcohol.

There isn't anything cool in West Newbury; just the House of Pizza, and Long Hill Orchard.

John Cena is from West Newbury.

It's a small town most people think is privilaged and white but really the teens are all either stoners smoking pot day after day hiding it from there parents thinking there all hard does shrooms and acid every once in a while says things like lit smoked out and fucking coss they through "kick backs" try to rap and dance like freaks to a sad excuse for rap and the ones that don't smoke pot are meth/herion addicts selling drugs and car hoping probabaly making up fake gangs or stealing something of yours while they help you look for it say shit like palobra homie serdio and hang out with 13 year Olds in an rv

A city full of rich white republicans. The epitome of the California lifestyle. The Parents are all doctors, lawyers and surgeons, and their kids all drive BMW's and Range Rovers. Some kids pretend to be poor and emo, and buy black clothes from Nordstrom, but at the end of the day, they get in their Jaguar, and drive to their mansion in Dos Vientos Ranch.

There is a place closer than you think.

A place where you might see a black person sometimes.

A place where there's ONE FUCKING MCDONALD'S.

A place where you can't let small animals out at night because they WILL die.

A place where children never get shot, but you kind of want to see them get shot.

A place that sometimes looks like a rancid dump or a rich white Republican man's playground; and never in between.

A place where my school once went on lockdown because there was a stray dog on campus.

A place where sixty degrees Fahrenheit is too cold to go outside.

A place where the criminally insane were released onto the streets one day and now you can't go outside alone past 11 PM.

And that place, is a little town we like to call: Newbury Park.

The other day I saw a seagull kill and begin to eat a rat until a raccoon killed the seagull and ate it.

Newbury Park.

Patricia Newbury is a synonym for overweight and grotesque. Usually people refer to these words when talking about obesity.