OPOSSUM

The polite way of saying you just wanna die, or ‘kms’ to avoid triggering people and in general. Opossums are famous for being about to fake death when feeling threatened and its just a whole mood



Opossum
Figuratively: Someone whose shitty driving will soon cause them to be found dead on the road, just as actual opossums are often found.
Example:
(You are on a 3 lane freeway in the Summer. A person driving 45 mph, goes from the right lane to the middle lane, directly in front of you, without using their turn signal)

YOU: (Yelling sarcastically out the window as you pass) Thanks for the turn signal Opossum!


opossum
When for circumstantial reasons (people nearby, thin apartment walls) you have to have a quiet orgasm, an opossum - otherwise known as "having a silent O."
Example:
"Man my parents were sitting on the couch watching a movie and my girlfriend and I were getting it on in the next room - we both had to have an opossum!"


opossumism
A mix between pessimism and optimism, especially where the pessimism is utilized in order to make things seem better than they are. Opossumists also play dead when faced with danger.
Example:
1. Student 1: DUDE I FAILED THAT TEST OMG KILL ME
Teacher: You got a 78.
Student 1: Wait really?! Sweeet! Go opossumism!

2. Student 2: I definitely failed that test.
Teacher: Here is your 50...
Student 2: Eep *dead*


Opossumming
The practice of inserting a opossum into the rectum via pipe with the intention of deriving sexual gratification. Gerbilling often presents as a gateway to opossumming as individuals’ appetite for internal stimulation goes unsatisfied by smaller rodents. The opossum’s solitary, nocturnal tendencies make it particularly well suited for internal use though users report significantly more internal trauma compared to gerbilling.
Example:
The tender paws of the gerbil were no match for Rodney’s unique sexual demands. He soon turned to opossumming to satisfy his urges.


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