Ordnance

military explosives; bombs



OrdNance
A total badass. CIA case officer. Thug gangster. Author provocateur, asymmetric strategist, a rhetorical Ramses. He can beat you with his fists, or with his brain, but fists are quicker so insurance is advised: When he’s not on TV you can find him on the battlefield behind enemy lines or drinking with that “most interesting man in the world” dude. He’s the Indiana Jones of Intelligence. The Mohammed Ali of Military Arts. And the David Bowie of Donbas. He blows shit up. He is OrdNance.
Example:
We were surrounded. Close combat with small arms. So I pulled the ripcord and called in OrdNance. He came in danger close behind enemy lines. By the time they saw him coming it was too late.

Afterward we got drinks and talked about Jean Baudrillard’s book “Simulacra and Simulation” and how Putin is inherently postmodern. And a little bitch.


Aviation Ordnance
A group of Marines that have the physical features of greek gods. Able to lift heavy objects unlike there inferior aviation counterparts. Pose a seroius health threat to any one who desicrates there creed or makes any attempt to sabotage there wings or comes within 5 feet of them. Known for producing sticky green tape and wraping up there victims in the form of mummys, then beating there legs. If you dispute this definition please visit your local Aviation Ordnance shop and file your complaint, IYAOYAS.
Example:
Have you seen LCpl smuckatellie? No, he went to ordnance to file a complaint yesterday.

Did you know Cpl Beltbuckle is trying to lat move to Aviation Ordnance!? He cant do that! One of the requirements is to be hung like a horse.

(PMO) Were looking for suspects on a complaint filed last night. What was the complaint? Well apparently someone stole all the beer from someones fridge in base housing then had sexual relations with multiple females in the persons garage. ooooooh, Ordnance shop is two doors down.


Aviation Ordnance Marine
An extremely motivated Marine for no apparent reason. Can we found along coastal military bases. Ordnance Marines commonly have sexual relations with each other regardless of gender. Aviation Ordnance Marines are also known for blurting out terms like IYAOYAS during times of silence. Oddly 90% of Ordnance Marines did not want to be ordnance; they all wish they were Crash Fire Rescue (Fire Fighters). Also ordnance skills (basic counting with fingers) have no value outside of the military.
Example:
Did you see the sweet IYAOYAS tatoo Sgt Korn got on his forearm? It really looks sweet next to the rainbow. He's a motivated Aviation Ordnance Marine.


local ordnance
A bu**s**t crazy-a** rule dat a municipality thoughtlessly imposes on its citizens and anyone else who visits said locale, and fanatically enforces said directives with heavy weaponry.
Example:
Two comically-absurd examples of a local ordnance are the obviously-copycats-of-each-other animated shorts "Pink Panzer" and "Suppressed Duck" --- in both films, absurdly-large/heavy firepower is employed merely to maintain/enforce a boundary-line.


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