Mormons

Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (LDS) a Christian religion based on both the Bible and the Book of Mormon. Members try to be honest, chaste, respectful, kind etc. They avoid using profane language, using alcohol/tobacco/drugs, having sexual relations outside of marriage etc.



Mormons
The term given to members of the various churches who follow the teachings of Joseph Smith, Jr. They are called this because Joseph Smith claimed to translate an ancient American record called "The Book of Mormon".

Many different Churches follow the the teachings of Joseph Smith, but most often the term "Mormons" is used to describe members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Sometimes it is also used to describe the members of "Break-off" Churches who still follow discontinued practices of the Original Church, such as polygamy, etc.
Example:
Those people are Mormons.


Mormons
Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

We're not a cult, we don't want to force religion down your throat, and we whole-heartedly accept that you have your own opinion. We believe our church's doctrine to be true, yet many of the members are still quite flawed (myself included, as well as many others who have attempted to tell you what we're all about).

If you really want to know about our church, talk to the missionaries. Members have a tendency to twist what we believe in their own ways. The missionaries will (for the most part) set you straight on our beliefs. They will never force what they have to say upon you. If you don't want them around, just politely tell them so. Trust me, I was a missionary myself. You can be mean to them, but they'll just make fun of you (like anybody else would).

The only real way for people to tell us apart from everyone else (and no, it's not our horns...although they're really quite stylish) is from the things we DON'T do. For example, we don't drink coffee or tea, and we don't have sex before we're married. By choice, mind you. Our members are free to drink as much coffee as they want, or look up as much porn as they want. Seems to me that being able to NOT do such things is a great exercise in self-control. Most people don't seem to like that because they themselves do not have the same self-control and they want to put down anyone else who does.

Please don't disparage Joseph Smith. We revere him as a great man. It's not his church, and we don't worship him. We follow our Savior Jesus Christ (although sometimes as members we have a tendency to think of that as a given, and could probably be more vocal about it).

We're not perfect. Neither are you. If you don't like us, that's fine. We accept that. We've heard everything you have to say about us. While most of it is either untrue or twisted, we allow you to have your own opinion. You don't have to join our church, so I don't see why everyone feels the need to condemn us. I don't remember Christ telling us to condemn another who believes and follows Him.

Do you?

I myself am a Mormon and I love our church. We've got some really amazing people who do some really amazing things. I mean...who DOESN'T love the Osmonds??? (That was a joke) But heck! Did you know the dude that invented the TV was Mormon? Holy crap, it's true! Philo Farnsworth. Look it up!

If you want to learn more about us visit Mormon.org or LDS.org. Good luck to us all.
Example:
Mormons rock! (just a little lighter than others, that's all)


Mormons
Scary American jesus-freaks that come to my door trying to convert me to their whacky religion.

They often sport name tags with the title of 'Elder', despite being of college student age.

Although they do seem friendly enough, to normal folk they are still god-damned annoying. Indeed, if anybody can put up with a Mormon visit without telling them to "Fuck Off", they deserve a VIP place in Heaven.
Example:
"Next time a Mormon comes to my door, I won't say I'm atheist, I'll lie and say I'm Catholic, then they'll fuck off."


Mormons
Some of the nicest people you will ever meet, which is unfortunate, since they fall victim to the biggest fraud ever. The Book of Mormon has been altered nearly 300 times to meet the popularity of changing times, such as no longer practicing poligamy and allowing blacks into the church after feeling the pressure of the Civil Rights Movement. Joeseph Smith was not a martyr, he shot at and killed some of the people that came after him when they were tired of his lies.
Nobody ever saw the Golden Plates, and what he copied down from them in "hieroglyphics " have been translated and found to mean absolute rubbish. Mormons say that the Bible is word from God, even though the Bible clearly says that nothing can be added to it, the Book of Mormon is an obvious attempt at this.
Example:
Mormons must tithe 10 percent of their income to be in good standing, and people are counting. My church simply has an anonymous drop box in the lobby


Mormons
A Christian religion that believes the Holy Ghost, Jesus Christ, and Heavenly Father are three separate individuals.
We believe that Joseph Smith restored the gospel.
For more information go to LDS.org
Example:
They have 12 kids?!? They must be Mormons...


Mormons
Ye olde English Waye of saying ye Moron.
___________

Nice dudes, that try to brainwash you. Next thing you know you're a nice dude that's trying to brainwash someone!
Example:
Mormon Dude 1:
Hello Sir. We're Morons, UGH sorry, we're Mormons.

Mormon Dude 2:
We want to tell you all about the book of Mormon.

You:
Okay, come in...

****A FEW YEARS LATER****

You:
Hello Sir!
Mormon Dude 3:
We're here to tell you all about the book of Mormon!


Mormons
Look, I've got three things to say.

1. The Church is true.

2. Singles Ward is the funniest movie ever.

3. Mormon dating is the best game in the entire world. I love you, Lucy Madison! Marry me!
Example:
Mormons - dispised by all, concerned not a jot.


Mormons
Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

We're not a cult, we don't want to force religion down your throat, and we whole-heartedly accept that you have your own opinion. We believe our church's doctrine to be true, yet many of the members are still quite flawed (myself included, as well as many others who have attempted to tell you what we're all about).

If you really want to know about our church, talk to the missionaries. Members have a tendency to twist what we believe in their own ways. The missionaries will (for the most part) set you straight on our beliefs. They will never force what they have to say upon you. If you don't want them around, just politely tell them so. Trust me, I was a missionary myself. You can be mean to them, but they'll just make fun of you (like anybody else would).

The only real way for people to tell us apart from everyone else (and no, it's not our horns...although they're really quite stylish) is from the things we DON'T do. For example, we don't drink coffee or tea, and we don't have sex before we're married. By choice, mind you. Our members are free to drink as much coffee as they want, or look up as much porn as they want. Seems to me that being able to NOT do such things is a great exercise in self-control. Most people don't seem to like that because they themselves do not have the same self-control and they want to put down anyone else who does.

Please don't disparage Joseph Smith. We revere him as a great man. It's not his church, and we don't worship him. We follow our Savior Jesus Christ (although sometimes as members we have a tendency to think of that as a given, and could probably be more vocal about it).

We're not perfect. Neither are you. If you don't like us, that's fine. We accept that. We've heard everything you have to say about us. While most of it is either untrue or twisted, we allow you to have your own opinion. You don't have to join our church, so I don't see why everyone feels the need to condemn us. I don't remember Christ telling us to condemn another who believes and follows Him.

Do you?

I myself am a Mormon and I love our church. We've got some really amazing people who do some really amazing things. I mean...who DOESN'T love the Osmonds??? (That was a joke) But heck! Did you know the dude that invented the TV was Mormon? Holy crap, it's true! Philo Farnsworth. Look it up!

If you want to learn more about us visit Mormon.org or LDS.org. Good luck to us all.
Example:
Mormons rock! (just a little lighter than others, that's all)


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