Pinch a loaf

To cut off the hanging of fecal matter from the anus.



pinched a loaf
Pinching a loaf refers to when one's sphincter clenches up mid-bowel movement, and cuts the egressing turd in half. The result is usually that one will have to wipe oneself raw in an effort to return one's rectum to a pristine un-befouled state of cleanliness.
Example:
Wife: Honey, what's taking you so long. We're going to be late.

Husband: I pinched a loaf, dear. Now I'll have to take another shower.

Wife: Oh, the humanity! I'll see if I can push back our reservations.



pinch a loaf
Using your sphincter muscle to "pinch" a loaf of shit that is hanging halfway out your ass and won't drop of its own accord. Pinching a loaf always results in extra-messy wiping.
Example:
"Hurry up and finish taking a shit, we're already late! Pinch the loaf if you must!"

"Thanks for suggesting that I pinch a loaf; it worked. Now I have to spend 5 minutes wiping, then we can leave."


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