statementize
Example:
Ms. Gonzalez, they want to statementize your witness, please give Ms. Singh the witness' phone number.
Ms. Gonzalez, they want to statementize your witness, please give Ms. Singh the witness' phone number.
STATEMENTATION
someone wishing to stand out by voicing their own opinions. the fact i'm voicing my opinion on this is irrelevant. also attention whoring in the way they dress etcStatementing
statementation
if statement
An if statement is a programming construct that executes logic based on application purpose. many people claim programming is difficult, but as can be seen by this very simple example, variables, functions and if statements all make sense once applied to a layman's terms use.
DECLARE person_you_hate = <insert name of hated person>
DECLARE disability =
if ($person_you_hate = $disability) then
do send-to-gas-chamber
else
do commit-suicide
end if
function send-to-gas-chamber{
do grab $person_you_hate
then shove $person_you_hate
then close door
then turn knob
watch gas kill $person_you_hate
return happy()}
function commit-suicide{
do grab $person_you_hate
then humiliate $person_you_hate
then hand $person_you_hate noose
then force $person_you_hate onto wonky table
watch $person_you_hate die
return happy()}
DECLARE person_you_hate = <insert name of hated person>
DECLARE disability =
if ($person_you_hate = $disability) then
do send-to-gas-chamber
else
do commit-suicide
end if
function send-to-gas-chamber{
do grab $person_you_hate
then shove $person_you_hate
then close door
then turn knob
watch gas kill $person_you_hate
return happy()}
function commit-suicide{
do grab $person_you_hate
then humiliate $person_you_hate
then hand $person_you_hate noose
then force $person_you_hate onto wonky table
watch $person_you_hate die
return happy()}
Example:
Im going to use an if statement to settle this dispute
Dammit man, im an if statement, not a Star Trek character
If statement = stupid then
do kill-yourself-for-reading-this
else
do shoot-a-small-furry-animal-for-fun
end if
Im going to use an if statement to settle this dispute
Dammit man, im an if statement, not a Star Trek character
If statement = stupid then
do kill-yourself-for-reading-this
else
do shoot-a-small-furry-animal-for-fun
end if
Barnum Statement
A Barnum Statement is a phrase used by conmen (for example a psychic) to try and make people think they have some deep insight into their psychology or life.
They are also commonly used in horoscopes
Barnum Statements are statements which most people will agree with, regarding themselves, while not realizing that almost every other person will also agree with them regarding their own lives
examples are:
"you have a good sense of humor, but not everyone sees it"
"you tend to think about things before taking action"
"You have had some major challenges in your life"
"you recently had a disagreement with someone you care for"
They are also commonly used in horoscopes
Barnum Statements are statements which most people will agree with, regarding themselves, while not realizing that almost every other person will also agree with them regarding their own lives
examples are:
"you have a good sense of humor, but not everyone sees it"
"you tend to think about things before taking action"
"You have had some major challenges in your life"
"you recently had a disagreement with someone you care for"
Example:
"The psychic told me that I was quite intelligent, but other people dont always see it"
"Sounds like she was just feeding you a Barnum Statement"
"The psychic told me that I was quite intelligent, but other people dont always see it"
"Sounds like she was just feeding you a Barnum Statement"
Mission Statement
The vague and unobtainable goals of a company or organization used by management to explain what the company or organization and they themselves do.
Example:
After months of meetings and repeated drafts they thought their new Mission Statement was perfectly clear, only problem was it really had nothing to do with what they did.
After months of meetings and repeated drafts they thought their new Mission Statement was perfectly clear, only problem was it really had nothing to do with what they did.
cya statement
1. Cover Your Ass statement.
2. A clause written into a legal document meant to protect some or all of the signers from litigation due to breach or other problem.
2. A clause written into a legal document meant to protect some or all of the signers from litigation due to breach or other problem.
Example:
"Our faucet broke again, there's water everywhere and my computer's wrecked. I'm seriously suing the landlord for this one." -- "Dude, didn't you read the contract? There's a CYA statement saying he's not responsible for damage to personal property in the apartment."
"Our faucet broke again, there's water everywhere and my computer's wrecked. I'm seriously suing the landlord for this one." -- "Dude, didn't you read the contract? There's a CYA statement saying he's not responsible for damage to personal property in the apartment."
statement cookie
a fortune cookie that doesn't actually have a fortune in it, instead they package it with a lame statement like; Versatility is one of your greatest features.
Example:
Guy 1: Heh, what does you fortune cookie say?
Guy 2: Its not a fortune cookie its a goddamn statement cookie, it reads, " To understand a man, you must listen to his words."
Guy 1: Duh that's not only a statement, but its fucking obvious, more like a douche cookie.
Guy 1: Heh, what does you fortune cookie say?
Guy 2: Its not a fortune cookie its a goddamn statement cookie, it reads, " To understand a man, you must listen to his words."
Guy 1: Duh that's not only a statement, but its fucking obvious, more like a douche cookie.
Owen Statement
A statement made about an observation that is overwhelmingly true (and/or funny) when you think about it, but a statement not anyone can make.
Example:
An Owen Statement example: A hot pretzel that gets cold at a sports game is colder than the actual temperature outside.
An Owen Statement example: A hot pretzel that gets cold at a sports game is colder than the actual temperature outside.