Xpress

Metrosexuality to the point of borderline homosexuality/femininity. Named for the prevalence of this condition among male employees of the clothing store "Express." As the condition improves the afflicted will move on to other clothing stores, the first step generally being American Eagle, with time and constant teasing the sufferer may go on to one day kiss a girl. Should the condition worsen the sufferer will move on to the Gap or Old Navy and be subjected to random beatings by emo kids looking for tight fitting women’s jeans.



Mendo Xpress

by SnugZ on Aug 20, 2008 07:48:47

Stick a pop can in a womans vagina, open it, and then drink it while eating out her vagina.
Example:
Dan wants to give Autumn a "Mendo Xpress".


GT Xpress 101

by Pickle Lilli on Jun 30, 2009 08:12:25

The GT Xpress 101 is an Infomercial Product bolstered by "Cooking expert," Cathy Mitchell, in tow with an obscure guest named Joe Farago, a purportedly struggling actor who briefly hosted 80's game show "Break the Bank." It opens with Joe standing in a "kitchen," before a counter with a myriad of "appetizing," meals. Cathy walks in and introduces the "revolutionary," GT Xpress 101. She commences to make omelets and breakfast sandwiches, she makes a "Pizza pita," and two wraps. There is break for testimonials. We return and she shows off the food, staying for only a second, and she barely cuts the food in half before moving on. She fills the wells with pancake mix and drops a hot dog in, for a "corn dog." They discuss the health benefits, forgetting to mention that Cathy dumps approximately 10 pounds of shredded cheese on everything, which she probably prepared with Vince Shlomi's, "Graty," from the Slap Chop infomercial. Not only that, she makes commercial Cinnamon Buns and drops candy bars and cookies into chocolate cake, raising the Calorie count. Her beady eyes undoubtedly suck the naive viewers into the warped dimension of Infomercial Hell as she raves about a disgusting dish she calls "Stuffed Soup." But wait! Her and Hubby Joe return for the GT Xpress 101 Redi Set-Go, where we discover her obsession for Pizza, "Cookizza," Cinnamon Buns, Egg dishes (with a mountain of cheese), Chocolate Candy Bar Cake, and Stuffed Soup returns for honorable mention as a three ingredient or less recipe. Yes folks, a life changing invention, the GT Xpress 101 will make life fun and easy, while you unknowingly consume Candy Bar Cake and Hot dog pancakes, Cathy's black Magic will surely take your soul to Hell with her.
Example:
I stayed up late last night and saw an Infomercial for the GT Xpress 101, I had nightmares of Demons all night after I saw Cathy Mitchell's eyes.


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