calm your tits
by hypehuman on Apr 02, 2019 16:14:12
A sexist and
degrading way of telling someone to calm down. Effective because it silences the addressee by invoking their fear of
appearing like a
hysterical female.
Example:
Wife: "I can't believe you would quit your job and not even
tell me about it!"
Husband: "
Calm your tits. If you ever had
a job, you would understand."
Boyfriend: "I just don't want to have children unless we're married."
Girlfriend: "Calm your tits. You sound like my mom."
calm your tits
by Overstored Milk on Oct 20, 2014 08:30:07
Someone has become so angry that it's becoming
out of control, they're impossible to
calm down. So, one says they should "
calm their tits".
Example:
Tammy: You know what I really think of you?
Jon: What?
Tammy: SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU UGLY, ATROCIOUS, ROTTEN, DECOMPOSING, NASTY, MENSTRUAL RAG!! YOU SUCK BITCH!!! YOU SUCK!!!! GO TO HELL AND BECOME THE DEVIL'S
PLAY TOY!!! GO GET MUTILATED AND EATEN ALIVE AFTERWARDS YOU FUCKING BUM!!! YOU FUCKING
SLUMLORD!!! EAT MY SHIT AND SUFFOCATE IN MY ASSHOLE!!!!!
Jon:
Calm your tits already, Jesus!
Calm your tits
by bassdude726 on May 31, 2014 13:24:01
An expression
uttered when an individual reacts in an inappropriately
excited manner to
a given situation.
Example:
Jim: "Oh,
my God. Did you see that guy
hit on my girlfriend? He gave her a drink and smiled at her. He's totally trying to hit on her. I'm going to fight him."
Dave: "Calm your tits, Jim. He's
the bartender."
Calm your tits
by Quinelle on Mar 12, 2014 05:17:15
A phrase we use when a fellow being is: stressed, anxious, freaking out, pissed off, raging, etc.
We can use other phrases such as "calm down", "take a chill pill", "I got chu", "take five", or "take a breather"; but "
calm your tits" has the word tits in it and everybody loves tits. So therefore it is right and just to use "calm your tits" when somebody is about to rage.
However, "
Calm your tits" is a PG 13 saying. If you are under the age of 13 please use the following:
- "
soothe your boobs"
- "
de-stress your breasts"
- "undo the calamity that is in your mammaries"
- "adjust your bust before it combusts"
Example:
Example #1 (for people above the age of 13)
*couple on phone*
Girlfriend: you liked her fucking instagram photo and rated her a 10 blah blah blah blah unfaithful blah blah ratchet blah blah blah no luv u no mo blah blah heartbrok-
Boyfriend: Babe, calm your tits.
I gots you.
Girlfriend: *le sigh*
Example #2 (for people under the age of 13)
Mom: Why is there so many f*cking dishes in the sink Jimmy?! Didnt I tell you to feed the dog?! Where the f*ck is the remote! Make me a coffee and do your chores Jimmy or you're grounded for a month!
Jimmy: Adjust your bust before it
combusts.
*end of discussion*
Example #3
Tyrone: *takes off with
Quinelle's weave without consulting*
Quinelle: *screams*
Ackrite Tyrone! Dont fucking play around!! Get your ass back here right now!!!
Tyrone: Geez, Quinelle. Calm your tits. I was just playing around b...
Thank you for your time
Calm your tits
by Sam Bell on Mar 24, 2008 01:06:49
Example:
judy: "oh my goodness my hair looks terrible today"
steve: "no, no it doesnt judy"
judy: "shut up steve, yes it does
ahhhhh"
steve: "alright judy
calm your tits"
Calm your tits
by Sexy Stripper Queen on Mar 15, 2017 13:55:22
Something you say when your girl is getting a little too excited/anxious/nervous/etc.
Variation of "Smooth your boobs" "give your chest a rest" "adjust your bust before you
combust" "
hakuna yo
tatas".
Example:
Mindy: I can't believe you were flirting with Cindy! We're DATING Tom! Where is your LOYALTY?! How am I supposed to raise our
unborn child?!
Tom: Wait... We have a child?
Mindy: That's besides the point. WHY WERE YOU LEADING HER TOWARDS THE BEDROOM?! IN MY OWN HOUSE?! HAVE YOU NO SHAME?!
Tom: Calm your tits, Mindy,
Cindy's my cousin. Besides, you've banged Cindy, Sandy, Quinn, and Nate before.
Mindy: *walks away muttering* Well, so have you...