condiment

An edible substance, such as sauce or seasoning, added to food to impart a particular flavor, enhance its flavor, or in some cultures, to complement the dish.



condimental
To over-estimate how many condiments such as salt, pepper, hot sauce or ketchup packets you needed to bring back with you to your table while dining at a fast food restaurant.

When grabbing way too many self-serve condiments, you become a mix of the words "condiment" and "mental".
Example:
Will: "Do we really need this many salt packets?"
Benjamin: "Sorry dude, I went a little bit condimental."


condiment thief
A pesky prick roommate who always uses up all YOUR condiments. Be careful for these people as they are known for being very slick and sly. They'll use a little here and a little there until it is all gone. Then to top it off they won't tell you they used it so that when you have your meal all ready save for a couple condiments you approach the fridge to find the containers in the fridge all but empty.
Example:
Doug: Sucks living with my roommate Tim I can't ever fully enjoy my meal.

Mikey: He one of those condiment thiefs?

Doug: Yeah...

Mikey: What a fuckin' prick


Condiment Salad
When a person who is cheap makes a "free" salad from the fixings bar at a burger restaurant. They will pile shredded lettuce with onions, tomatoes and whatever else is available on the bar.

They will make their own salad dressing by mixing ketchup with mayonnaise and relish.

The condiment salad is usually made on a hamburger wrapper or basket liner.

The condiment salad goes well with Jewish lemonade and is popular with the mature Florida set.

Family members are generally horrified by the actions and tend to sit on the other side of the room away from them.
Example:
Mom, tell me you aren't going to cheap out and make a condiment salad to go with your jewish lemonade and pay nothing.


sleeping condiments
Anything you sleep with or need to get to sleep. i.e.: Pillows, blankets, lingerie, teddy bears, blow up dolls, or blow up mattresses.
Example:
Don't forget to bring your sleeping condiments when you come for the fourth.


Condimental Divide
When you and your romantic partner, spouse, family member, or friend share opposing, strong opinions about a specific condiment, such as ketchup/catsup or mayonnaise.
-As coined by Mark Garrison on the podcast "The Sporkful".
Example:
Person 1: "You like Miracle Whip? Gross!"
Person 2: "No, mayo is gross; Miracle Whip is good."
Person 1: "We can't hang out anymore. I can't get over the Condimental Divide."

Person 1: "I dumped my girlfriend because she put ketchup on her hot dog. That's just WRONG!"
Person 2: "Another relationship destroyed by the Condimental Divide."


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