contusion

When a guy breaks his leg in half, declares that he did indeed, break his leg in half. And then, slam his broken leg on the ground.



Contused penis
Also known as breaking your penis

The act of pressuring the blood in your penis shaft, until it rips open with internal bleeding. Symptoms could be a purple swollen shaft
Example:
Doctor: "Looks like you have a bad case of a contused penis"
Abel: "I Shouldn't have rolled over


cooch contusion
discoloration of the vagina after being smanged (the combination of being smashed and banged) usually resulting with a purple color, like a bruise.
Example:
Guy: "Whoa girl what happened to your cooch??"
Girl: "Ehhhh I got smanged pretty good..."
Guy: "Daaaaaang girl it looks like you got yourself a cooch contusion"


pulmonary contusion
A pulmonary contusion (or lung contusion) is a contusion (bruise) of the lung, caused by chest trauma. As a result of damage to capillaries, blood and other fluids accumulate in the lung tissue. The excess fluid interferes with gas exchange, potentially leading to inadequate oxygen levels (hypoxia).
Example:
Pulmonary contusion should be assessed in primary survey of trauma patient.


labial contusion
From the latin for bruising of the vagina.
A term used when a male friend gets a scrapped knee or other minor cut from mountain biking, skiing, or other outdoor activity and whinges about it.
Example:
Adam: My neck hurts a little.
Dave: Gee adam, maybe you need some homeopathic salve for that labial contusion?


labial contusion
Latin for bruised vagina.
A term used when a male friend says he doesn't want to come out but doesn't have a real excuse.
Example:
Dave: "Hey Paul do you want to come mountain biking with us this weekend?"
Paul: "No I can't this weekend."
Dave: "Why not? Do you have a labial contusion?"


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