coworkability
Your perception of a colleague's ability to collaborate with you both technically and socially. Your willingness to go out for a drink with them on a Thursday.
coworker
When you are doing something at work that is not work-related that requires your full attention, such as playing a video game, and a co-worker suddenly pops in forcing you to make it look as if you are busy and hide your game (such as with alt-tab). After the co-worker leaves, you typically return to your video game to find your character dead.Coworking
Young professionals who work remotely, “together” so they’re not as lonely. Can be done in coffee shops, libraries, or overpriced coworking spaces in gentrifying urban neighborhoods.
Example:
You interested in coworking with me today, so I can get this project done and you can get ahead on your book?
You interested in coworking with me today, so I can get this project done and you can get ahead on your book?
Coworker
Your child or pet who you now spend your working hours with due to COVID-19. Typically this person or pet in inconsiderate to you doing your work.
coworked
When your standing around doing nuthin and your manager/supervisor catches you.Gives you a lecture on how important it is to stay busy even if all your work is covered and adds his/her dumb ass quote "If there's time to lean,there's time to clean."
Example:
Johnny worked at your local fast food spot.Johnny was throwing ketchep on the drive thru floor to watch them explode as the cars ran them over.Johnny threw 2 pakets out the window before the next car rolled up.In the car was his manager on break.End result Johnny in the drive thru picking up ketchup packets.
a.k.a jonhhy got coworked
Johnny worked at your local fast food spot.Johnny was throwing ketchep on the drive thru floor to watch them explode as the cars ran them over.Johnny threw 2 pakets out the window before the next car rolled up.In the car was his manager on break.End result Johnny in the drive thru picking up ketchup packets.
a.k.a jonhhy got coworked
Ex-coworker
home coworker
Your spouse or family member when you are working from home. Corollary to office husband or office wife.
Example:
Dennis: Pam just walked in while I was on my conference call. As we have to share our home and both sustain our working environments, I am learning to manage along with my home coworker. When this Coronavirus blows over, I am going to introduce Pam to Jenny so that my home coworker can meet my office wife. Perhaps tonight I will call a meeting with my home coworker to put some effort toward producing a corona boomer.
Dennis: Pam just walked in while I was on my conference call. As we have to share our home and both sustain our working environments, I am learning to manage along with my home coworker. When this Coronavirus blows over, I am going to introduce Pam to Jenny so that my home coworker can meet my office wife. Perhaps tonight I will call a meeting with my home coworker to put some effort toward producing a corona boomer.
Annoying Coworker
The person with whom you share an office who constantly (pick one or several): clears his throat, shares all the minutest details of her boring existence, publicly agonizes over the smallest of decisions (often goes with previous quality), mosturizes his hands every five minutes, adjusts her clothes or hair every three minutes, or talks/laughs too loudly and too often.
Example:
Annoying coworker: "I just can't decide whether or not to attend my boyfriend's step-grandmother's funeral."
Me: "Were you close to her?"
A.C.: "I've only met her once about a year ago."
Me: "Was her death sudden?"
A.C.: "She's been battling cancer for three years now."
Me: "I wouldn't go."
A.C. (turns to other coworker in the room): "Should I go to my boyfriend's step-grandmother's funeral? I really think his family would appreciate me going."
Me: "Then why don't you go?"
A.C.: "Oh, I'm just not sure if my boyfriend wants me to go or not."
Me: "Why don't you ask him?"
A.C.: "Oh, I can't do that!"
...and on and on and on...
Annoying coworker: "I just can't decide whether or not to attend my boyfriend's step-grandmother's funeral."
Me: "Were you close to her?"
A.C.: "I've only met her once about a year ago."
Me: "Was her death sudden?"
A.C.: "She's been battling cancer for three years now."
Me: "I wouldn't go."
A.C. (turns to other coworker in the room): "Should I go to my boyfriend's step-grandmother's funeral? I really think his family would appreciate me going."
Me: "Then why don't you go?"
A.C.: "Oh, I'm just not sure if my boyfriend wants me to go or not."
Me: "Why don't you ask him?"
A.C.: "Oh, I can't do that!"
...and on and on and on...
coworker zone
Similar to the Friend Zone, the coworker zone is a lonely state you find yourself in after your attempts to initiate an outside-of-work friendship with a coworker are rejected. Can also be used as a verb – to be "coworker zoned" is to be denied friendship by a coworker, thereby placing you in the coworker zone.
Example:
I asked Charles if he wanted to hang out and work on the project some time, but he totally missed the point that I wanted to hang out and just said he wasn't really interested in working on the project. He totally put me in the coworker zone.
I asked Charles if he wanted to hang out and work on the project some time, but he totally missed the point that I wanted to hang out and just said he wasn't really interested in working on the project. He totally put me in the coworker zone.
The Coworker Curve
A grading scale of coworker hotness that tends to form after weeks, months, or years of working among the same individuals. Based on the coworker curve, the least ugliest becomes the hottest and the ugliest becomes the least hottest.
The coworker curve has similar effects as beer goggles. It no longer relies on common sense standards of hotness and sex appeal. For most it happens subconsciously, you'll walk into a workplace for the first time and see all 2's and 5's (out of 10), and months later you'll find yourself checking out that same 5 as if they were a 9. Or even worse, you start bringing that fugly beat to parties and showing them off to your friends.
The coworker curve has similar effects as beer goggles. It no longer relies on common sense standards of hotness and sex appeal. For most it happens subconsciously, you'll walk into a workplace for the first time and see all 2's and 5's (out of 10), and months later you'll find yourself checking out that same 5 as if they were a 9. Or even worse, you start bringing that fugly beat to parties and showing them off to your friends.
Example:
Coworker: I thought Sally was pretty ugly when I first started working here, but after a few months..... she's actually pretty cute.
Me: Yea, she's cute based on the coworker curve , but uglier than shit in real life.
Coworker: I thought Sally was pretty ugly when I first started working here, but after a few months..... she's actually pretty cute.
Me: Yea, she's cute based on the coworker curve , but uglier than shit in real life.