measles

The frequently deadly disease that anti-vaxxers are willing to expose their children to out of an unfounded fear of autism. Can cause blindness, sterility, heart damage and life long complications, but hey, its better dead than slightly non-neurotypical.See also whooping cough.



Measle
(N.)- Somebody who gets into intense mountain dew corrals at some point during the day, normally around lunchtime
Example:
The measle almost got his hoodie ripped by the long arms of Gar.


Pubic Measles
Contagious disease of the lower pubic regions first discovered in Glenjamin Willybobble
Cause:
Chronic insane anal pounding – with various kitchen utilities (most frequently a whisk inside a blender)
Being from Blackpool and surrounding areas
Bending over in Cemetery Junction Public Toilets with loose morals
Symptoms include:
Irrational and sustained itching of the scrotum and meatus
Constant need for sexual relief – usually resulting in chronic masturbation until pustules burst
Disgusting groinal aroma followed by an inability to follow conversation and stating the obvious and implied

Example:
Glen was happy until his crotch fell off - and sniffed that he had pubic measles
Mike was worried and horny and slightly hungry but mostly tired, so he went home


Cupids Measles
The blemishes that are commonly known as coldsores or herpes simplex 1.
Example:
~I made out with what's her face and got a case of "Cupids measles"!

~Huh?
~you know, a whore blossom!
~A WHAT?
~I GOT A FUCKIN' COLDSORE! ALL RIGHT?


Weiner Measles
The generic, nondescript term for any of a host of venereal diseases (STD's), especially those which cause some sort of eruption on the penis.
Example:
James: I would stay away from her. She's hot and all, but...

Bill: But what?

James: You'll probably end up with a scorching case of weiner measles.


dying of measles
A murder that is meant to look natural.
OR
A murder that leaves absolutly no marks or evidence of murder even after autopsy.
Example:
No marks...no illness...Looks like this one died of measles cuz' I smell foul play!

This mark'll be dying of measles tonight.


German measles
When a dog poops indoors and somebody steps in it, and immediately starts throwing up, and is ill for the next three days.
Example:
Nick stepped in some dog poo, and started booting everywhere. Then he couldn't go to school for the next three days because of German measles.


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