policeman

That cute local that gives you these cool looking bracelets and invites you to his house!



Armchair Policeman
Noun.

What a person becomes when, upon receiving word of a police incident from the internet, the news, or word of mouth, one gives advice on how the police should have "properly" handled the situation in line with police protocol, the law, etc.

Usually, this occurs when the police have been accused of wrongdoing or, even more commonly, when the police have been accused of no wrongdoing yet the receiving party believes they are almost entirely at fault.

Common occurrences include drug busts, traffic stops, and police shootings.
Example:
Theodore: I can't believe the police shot him, he only had a knife on him. Since when do you need to shoot someone with a knife? They should have used their taser or pepper spray, it's not even legal to use deadly force in a situation like that.

Bill: Man, Ted, you are being quite the armchair policeman right now.

Theodore: It's Theodore.

Bill: Whatever, dude.


Angry Policeman
When you are having sex with a female and right before you jizz in her face you yell "FREEZE" then shoot anyways.
Example:
Alyson almost jumped out of her shoes when I angry policemanned her.


Emerson Policeman
noun.
1. A member of the law enforcement community that is overweight, lacks fitness, and eats doughnuts. 2. A man who is preoccupied with himself and often vain about his appearance; a dandy or Mazzeo. 3. A lazy or shiftless person, especially one who seeks to live excessively by the support of Emerson taxpayers. 4. An incompetent, insignificant, or obnoxious person. 5. A person lacking in activity; not busy: a slacker, lacking in diligence or due care or concern. 6. To exploit, swindle, or cheat the taxpayer, using a false advertising campaign, to rip off consumers.

Synonyms: Blue Asshole, Fuzz, Scumbag, Stupid Sandwich Makers, Flatfoot, Cop, Prick, Slacker, Loser, Bum, a small oily fish

Middle English slak, from Old Norse slakki.
Source: The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition
Example:
Person 1 Says: "I was stopped by an asshole that smelled like a small oily fish. He was overweight and overpaid."

Person 2 replies: "It must have been an Emerson Policeman!"


twonkface policeman
1.a scottish policewoman who acts like a twonk 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 👮 ♀️
2. a song about the above, sung to the tune of *pop goes the weasel*
Example:
1. you absolute twonkface policeman
2. 🎵 if there’s a policeman
who happens to be a woman
has a face, acts like a twonk,
twonkface policeman!


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