to read the bible

The term "reading the bible" refers to any situation that is bad, illegal, or just naughty like sex or drugs.



Reading the Bible
refers to Christians and Catholics using another name for masturbating more commonly used by priest and religious figures
Example:
The priest told me that tonight he is going to be Reading the Bible


reading the bible
When people only read one part of a larger text, and completely miss the point. This happens a lot in many contexts. Some people even use parts of bible passages to do things that aren't actually good if they were to read the complete passage.
Example:
You've completely misunderstood my letter because you didn't read the whole thing through! You're reading the bible!


U READ MY BIBLE
Something you say to someone if you are right about something and they are wrong but they were being super stubborn and saying they were right. It means for the person in the wrong to try seeing things from your perspective or just to even trust you more often.
Example:
Lukas: trust me, chickens don’t lay eggs at all. Are u stupid?
Dylan: yes they do. (Shows proof chickens lay eggs) see? haha, U READ MY BIBLE!


How Christians Read the Bible
By presupposing it's truth and then create a narrative that is parallel to the text and then accepting this adjacent narrative AS TRUTH... Regardless of what the text actually says.
Example:
Hym "And then what they do is believe the narrative that is constructed around the text... In spite of the FACT that it is a manifestation of their own mind. So, it doesn't matter WHAT YOU SAY... As long as the conclusion is that the religion is both true and good. And it looks something like this:

Dr. JeepJorp "Flabbity florbity flip flop! Everyone KNOWS that flabbity florbity flip flop and that = the Bible true and good!"

Sheeple "Hey! I'm everyone! You're right! I know that, I mean, come on. Do you think I don't know that flabbity florbity flip flop? Everyone know it!"

Hym "And that's how Christians read the Bible."


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