Reading the Bible

refers to Christians and Catholics using another name for masturbating more commonly used by priest and religious figures



reading the bible
The term "reading the bible" refers to any situation that is bad, illegal, or just naughty like sex or drugs.
Example:
You and your friends are smoking pot in your room. Your mom knocks on the door and asks what your doing in there. You respond "reading the bible!"

You and your friend are talking in study hall and you are asked "So what did you and Joe do last night?" you respond "oh, ya know, we um... read the bible out loud to eachother." When really you fucked like bunnies.


reading the bible
When people only read one part of a larger text, and completely miss the point. This happens a lot in many contexts. Some people even use parts of bible passages to do things that aren't actually good if they were to read the complete passage.
Example:
You've completely misunderstood my letter because you didn't read the whole thing through! You're reading the bible!


U READ MY BIBLE
Something you say to someone if you are right about something and they are wrong but they were being super stubborn and saying they were right. It means for the person in the wrong to try seeing things from your perspective or just to even trust you more often.
Example:
Lukas: trust me, chickens don’t lay eggs at all. Are u stupid?
Dylan: yes they do. (Shows proof chickens lay eggs) see? haha, U READ MY BIBLE!


illiterate people can’t read the bible
Used when people don’t understand that something is smart/good because they lack understanding of the subject.
Example:
“Don’t worry dude, your album/movie/project isn’t bad, illiterate people can’t read the bible”


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