Cactus Jack's

Mick Foley's alter ego



Cactus Jack
The real form of this phrase is similar to a masturbatory experience known as "The Stranger" (in which you sit on your hand until it is numb and masturbate so that it feels like someone else is doing it)

The only variance is that when doing a "Cactus Jack" you wait for partial numbness to restore until you feel the "Pins and needles" in your hand. You then masturbate and it feels like you're jacking off a real cactus.

Other Notes: It does not matter much if you reach climax during this as real cacti retain liquid and cannot orgasm.

Should you jack off a real cactus please seek immediate medical help.
Example:
John was giving himself a stranger in the closet when suddenly it turned into a god awful Cactus Jack situation when the feeling in his hand came back. Next time John will sit on both of his hands before an attempt.


Cactus Jack
One of the greatest rapper of all time Travis Scott’s other names. Also the name of his record label. When you’d order the Travy Patty at McDonald’s, you’d tell them Cactus Jack sent you!
Example:
McDonald’s employee: Hi welcome to McDo-
Tommy: You know why I’m here. Cactus Jack bent me over and fucked my back out. *blasts Sicko Mode*
McDonald’s employee: That’ll be $6.


Cactus Jack
There are several definitions floating around out there - but this is an original scenario and should be considered an authentic Cactus Jack henceforth -
If lonely in the desert, take a small cactus and carefully remove all needles. Insert a knife in the bottom and hollow out the pulp. You should now have a flap of cactus skin with a nicely lubricated, aloey, gooey lining. Carefully insert two fingers and feel around the inside looking for any "ingrown needles". Once satisfied that your cactus meets all safety requirements, you may proceed to have sex with it. Afterwards, rinse and repeat as desired. The flap will fold easily and can be kept discreetly in your pocket.
Example:
When Casey was doing infantry training out in the desert, I heard he got lonely in his fighting hole and made himself up a nice little Cactus Jack for company.


Cactus Jack
Cactus Jack Records is a record label founded by rapper Travis Scott. The label's current acts include Scott, Sheck Wes, Don Toliver, Luxury Tax, WondaGurl, and Scott's DJ, Chase B. The label also has its own publishing division, Cactus Jack Publishing. ITS LIT!
Example:
Im so happy Don Toliver signed with Cactus Jack


CACTUS JACK
YKTFV UR BOY CACTUS JACK THE MOST FIRE MUTHER FUCKER EVER AND DEM KICKS THO DEM SHITS FIRE HE IS THE OG THE MOST FIRE KID U WILL EVER KNOW SO IF U MEET CACTUS U BETTER FUCKING TALK TO HIM BEC HE IS A LIT MUTHER FUCKER
Example:
CACTUS JACK IS A METAPHOR FOR A FIRE


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