Collingwood

Collingwood- a place full of diversity Hicks, preps, stoners, party animals, etc. Wild ass people live in Collingwood and know how to have a good time. Locals spend most of their time at the pier in the summer at blue in the winter and Dons all year round. CCI is home of many that partake in Collingwoods many activities this is also home to the 80% stoner population of Collingwood and will scare niners at first but after many trips to the bathroom seeing people vaping, skipping class, and much more you get used to the hectic atmosphere.



Collingwood
The population is about 98% full of white kids who try and act like they are black and wish they were, but are definitly not. The guys hobbies include Hockey, smoking 24/7, vaping 50 nic, the occasional smash and dash, balling, and chopping. You can find this species in various places including the YMCA, Subway at lunch, Badlands park, local parties, or in a typical sesh spot. If you're having trouble locating one of these crazy party animals just announce that you've "got kush" and they'll come running like the cat in the temptations commercial. These boys can be spotted in tiny hats, tall socks and beige khakis. Enough about the boys, because the girls are another fun story. The girls in Collingwood enjoy getting trashed on weekends! A Mickey of Smirnoff is where it's at and if you're fancy ladies you'll pull through with a flavoured 2/6. You can find the girls at local parties or McDonalds in the summer anytime past 9 Pm. You'll find these ladies are attached to thier vapes like it's thier left arm. If you're trying to attract these creatures just yell "who needs a fill" and you'll be instantly surronded by Cwood chicks. They'll most likely be seen wearing leggings, sweatpants, beanies, Airforce 1's and Stans! Collingwood is a great place to be, filled with nicotine addicted children that really enjoy writing UD definitions for fun.
Example:
City idiot 1:"Damn these people are wack"
City idiot 2: "Ya they're from Collingwood"


Collingwood
A town situated in Southern Ontario on Georgian Bay. Sandwiched between the ass-cheeks of Blue Mountain and Wasaga Beach, the population is divided between 50% children who have a SoundCloud, (and will probably overdose at the age of 20), and 50% rich elders from Toronto. Majority of the population of Collingwood will most likely migrate due to the increase of house pricing, thanks to the 68 year old's named Tony, moving from their mansion in Toronto to their mansion in Collingwood. These 68 year old's named Tony, are most of the time, certified geniuses, but somehow manage to drive like fucking morons in their BMW. This place is perfect for you if you happen to be a Caucasian white female, as you can find all the kids with perms, chains, and a skateboard at Collingwood to grind your yeast infection onto. On the other end of the spectrum of kids in Collingwood, are girls who dye their hair blue and post sad edits of Bart Simpson from the show 'The Simpsons'. Their Spotify playlist is 50% dead rappers who they found out after they had died, and 50% reverbs of songs from the exact same rapper. They call themselves depressed, but in actually they just lack the attention they want. Half the time these people also go by names that they weren't given to at birth. I swear to god if I meet one more person named Lunar, Sparkle, Silver, or Rainbow Dash, I will literally crucify myself by my foreskin.
Example:
Person 1: Hey, want to go to Collingwood?
Person 2: I would rather have Dwayne Johnson shove his penis down my esophagus, while having Manny Pacquiao practice his boxing skills on my testicles, than go to Collingwood.


Collingwood
The best sporting team that is, has been, or ever will be. A team that plays with more spirit, fairness and magic than any other team. A team that prides itself on playing together as one, not as a team of individuals. A team that is hated by other AFL/VFL clubs for no good reason. They are hated because unlike some other teams, the club and its supporters don't buckle under or try to conform to peer group pressure to be popular, they follow their hearts and sense of what is right and just. People hate them for it because secretly thats what they want for themselves. This is why Collingwood is the best AFL/VFL team ever:

A greater all time win/loss ratio than any team in its history. Number 1 on the all time ladder for the AFL/VFL.

More grand final appearances than any other team by a factor of two. Probably another reason why we are so hated, since chances are you will play us if you get to the big one.

If Collingwood is matched up to any individual team in the AFL/VFL except Carlton you will find that Collingwood has won more games than it has lost against that individual team. Carlton has won slightly more games when it has played Collingwood, than Collingwood has against it. However Collingwood has won more games in general against all teams than Carlton and lost less in its history(Collingwood has a greater all time win/loss ratio).

Many of the grand finals we lost were by small margins, unlike other teams that don't deserve to be there to begin with.

Has won 4 premierships in a row which is an all time record for any team.

Has 14 premierships in total only two off the best.

The richest club in the AFL.

Holds more records than any other team.

Has the highest attendances of any club and as an average over its entire history more supporters.

The supporters are the most loyal group perhaps of any sporting team in the world and the most hated by other AFL/VFL teams as a result. A victim of prejudice like their club, Collingwood supporters are commonly labelled as idiots and dole bludgers despite most of them being just as intelligent and wealthy as other supporters if not more so.

If all these stats are objectively weighted in value and added together we have evidence for calling Collingwood by far the best team in AFL football ever.
Example:
"Good old Collingwood forever, side by side we stick together"


Collingwood
A town located in Ontario filled with a bunch of white kids trying to be gangsters. Very trashy and all the kids do is vape or are high. Very terrible parties and someone always throws up at one. SoundCloud is very popular here but all the kids post is trash. All the boys are stoners and all the girls are catfishes. Trap house is located across Dairy Queen. All the kids make their money by selling firechews and firebars
Example:
Yo I wanna get high...got any weed? Nah man only firechews
NotKappaG Collingwood SoundCloud rapper


Collingwood
A very small town where everybody knows everyone. You can find your classic shit high school, CCI. Fighting in the parking lots, the pit and vaping in the long ass subway line. Look out for the Cwood guys in there white airforces and designer belts smoking weed and getting sauced on the weekends. Collingwood’s party life is as dry as your grandmothers coochie but you’ll always find the Cwood chicks getting white girl wasted, pulling trig and falling all over the place. So good luck finding a party that isn’t outside and with a good speaker. Where would everyone go without the pier, drifting in the gravel is the go to for every hick and teen with the car daddy bought them. Welcome to Collingwood and try not to OD on firebars.
Example:
Collingwood

Yo did you hear about the fight at subway?

Let me hit the juul

Let’s go to the pier!

I got next game of pong


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