Mortem

Sexiest type of person to exist. Has a "can't be bothered" attitude and plays video games 24/7 with his girlfriend. Also a huge influence to his peers.



pre-mortem
Reviewing the details of why a product or project launch will fail BEFORE the product actually launches. This is distinct in nature from a post-mortem, which FOLLOWS a failed product or project launch.
Example:
The group of product managers congregated in the kitchen to conduct a pre-mortem of the soon-to-be released cell phone device.


Post Mortem
A calming 14-minute video that can help someone think about one's life, make someone sleep, be used as a lullaby, and potential music sample. A universal cureall to our dire needs.
Example:
Person 1: Yo bro, can you give me some music to help sleep into
Person 2: Yeah bro, try listening to Post Mortem
Person 1: Will it work?
Person 2: Definitely
Person 1: Send link then
Person 2: I can only give you this, it's all up to you to find it, 2A_bWVaKJrI
Person 1: Thanks bro I'll try my best

Emico can't wait to give the sound team another Post Mortem to help them calm down


Post-mortem
After a project finishes in a big production for a movie, video game, or large project. Everyone gets together to discuss in a meeting what went wrong and what could be done better. The issues brought up are almost always completely ignored by management and they continue to make the same incompetent mistakes they always have.
Example:
Worker; If we don't change this it's going to explode next time and we're going to have to do it again.
Management; Ignore. Oh shit. It exploded. Let's do it again, can you come in this weekend and next? We can discuss what went wrong during the post-mortem.
Worker; If we don't change this it's going to explode next time and we're going to have to do it again.
Management; Ignore. Oh shit. It exploded. Let's do it again, can you come in this weekend and next? We can discuss what went wrong during the post-mortem.


Post Mortem
1. Post-mortem: meaning after death the examination, or autopsy of a corpse in order to determine cause of death.
Also Post-mortem interval: the time that has elapsed since a person has died.

2. Used in a metaphoric sense in Eminem's song "Lose Yourself" to mean that Eminem has become brain-dead.
Example:
1. The Coroners arrived to the crime scene to investigate and find the post-mortem interval.

2. "His soul's escaping, through this hole that is gaping
This world is mine for the taking, make me king
As we move toward a new world order, a normal life is boring
But superstardom's close to post mortem
It only grows harder, only grows hotter
He blows it's all over, these h**s is all on him
Coast to coast shows, he's known as the Globetrotter"


Post Mortem
A 14-minute video that is the universal cure all to the problems. Its effects include, lullaby music, music sampling, therapeutic music, ASMR, alarm clock, and other such uses.
Example:
Emico can't wait to help the sound team by sending another version of Post Mortem.

Whalesauce initiates the new recruits by sending them Post Mortem.

We were all mentally healed due to watching and hearing Post Mortem.


cunnilingus mortem
Latin for "death by cunnilingus." When a girl finds her perfect lover, she is given cunnilingus by him until she passes out, which may possibly lead to death. This perfect lover is, of course, a mythical creature (like the unicorn).
Example:
"I just met my perfect lover."
"Really?"
"He sentenced me to cunnilingus mortem."
"Wow! Can I meet him?"
"No way. He's mine and I'm not sharing."
"Yeah, I didn't think he was real."
"A girl's gotta dream, doesn't she?"


Mortem Mettalum
A wonderful, violent Roblox game where you're able to pick a weapon and hop straight into a free-for-all battle. Although the game is rather well-made, it is thoroughly ruined by a large portion of the community, which includes, but not limited to: Ro-gangsters, wannabe tryhards, Kanabo mains, and lastly speds.
Example:
Person 1: yo hop on Mortem Mettalum
Person 2: no that game's community is fucking garbage
Person 1: tru


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