bagel

two pieces of round bread, smashed together in a rude hushed manner.



bagel
another word for zero -- derived from the show Scrubs
Example:
“God is watching. How many times have you gotten laid this year?”— Janitor

Bagel”— Todd

(making zero symbol with hand)


bagel
Example:
Next time you ask for a "shmear" on that bagel, you should ask for sprinkles too. Why? A "hole" lot of cheating at the Kwik-E-Mart, that's why. Turns out that Apu is selling chewy week-old donuts -- from the bagel bin! Is nothing sacred? In this reporter's opinion, no.


bagel
Long ago, when the doughnut was invented, the entirety of planet Earth rejoiced at the delicious iced pastry, until one day, somebody pointed out that it contained the word "ugh", which is commonly associated with horror and dismay. This eventually led to "doughnut" being shortened to "donut", all for the better. A bagel is a lesser donut. It effectively puts the "ugh" back in "doughnut" and should be avoided at all costs if a donut is available.
Example:
*Todd is about to put a bagel in his mouth when Sean cuts him off.*

Sean: Dude, we have donuts.

Todd: Thanks, Man. I owe you one.

*Todd eighty-sixes the bagel and grabs a donut.*


bagel
plain donut, only good if it has stuff on it
Example:
person #1: what r u eating ???
person #2: bagel
person #1: bro thats kinda offensive take that back before i steal your kneecaps


bagel
Someone who is extremely cheap.

(Comes from the generic Jew characteristic of frugal, and the fact that all Jews love bagels)
Example:
Dude, don't be a bagel, I need the money for my enema!


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