benign

verb. the age one becomes after eight.



Benign

1. Having a kind and gentle disposition or appearance.

2. Not a threat to life or long-term health, especially by being noncancerous.

3. Neutral or harmless in its effect or influence.

4. Mild or favorable in effect.
Example:

1. The lady next door is a relavively benign presence.
2. The cancer's benign.
3. The storm was benign.


benign neglect
A method of parenting school-age children in which you leave them the fuck alone unless they need you for something. The exact opposite of a helicopter parent.
Example:
I let my children work out their own disagreements unless they start hitting each other. I'm a big advocate of benign neglect.


benign cysters
A set of sisters who are not life threatening, yet no one wants one, or even to look at one. They are annoying as shit. And they are gross. …so gross.
Example:
My ex wife and her sister are like a cancer that doesn’t kill you. But they won’t leave you alone for the rest of your life. And the are gross. … they are so, … very gross.

The are the most perfect benign cysters.


Benign Hat Pressure Syndrome.
Also known as BHPS.

A harmless condition in which the catalyst event is inadvertently bought about by the victim wearing a hat for novelty purposes, while they are not generally accustomed to wearing one.
They do this under marijuana inebriation.

The marijuana ingestion causes vagueness and temporary loss of short term memory in the victim, and the irregular use of the hat becomes forgotten.

The victim senses the anomalous pressure caused by the hat, and perceives it to be something akin to a "headache", an imbalance, or loss in equilibrium.

For treatment of BHPS, identification of the cause (see: hat) and removal will result in alleviation of the symptoms.

This results in a return to relative normalcy, and increased feelings of joy in the (now) former victim.

Most often, identification will be made by a secondary party - Hat removal procedures can be performed by either of the aforementioned, a nigh-immediate improvement will be noted thereafter.

The syndrome has been known to recur at times of subsequent marijuana usage.
Example:
He thought there was something wrong.

There wasn't.

It was merely a case of Benign Hat Pressure Syndrome.

Removal Procedure began immediately upon identification.


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