cullen's

Born To Fuck



cullenism
A new religion based off the sappy Mormon-written Twilight series. It has no tax exempt status, very few members, a prayer ripped off from the Lord's Prayer, and the majority of the congregation are virginal girls (not of the hot kind, either).

Basically, cullenism is basically the Church Of Scientology except, would you believe it - their members are far more insane, you have to replace aliens with "sexeh vampires OMG TEAM EDWARD YAAAY!" and instead of being founded by a failure of a science-fiction writer, it's based off the masturbation fodder of a Mormon homemaker.
Example:
Girl 1: What religion do you believe in?
Girl 2: I'M A BELIEVE IN CULLENISM OMGTWILIGHTISSOGREATEDWARDISSOHOTDHIDHSfjhahfw
Girl 1: God, that is retarded.
Girl 2: YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS.


Cullen
An amazing guy any girl would be lucky to be with. He is super hot and sexy and perfect. He is smart and funny. He can always make you smile and it's always a great time being with him. He is a fantastic kisser and you will never want to leave him. He is the best boyfriend that any girl could ever have. He'll make any day an adventure. He is also true to himself and to others. He will not hide who he is and who he is is the best person you can ever meet in the world.
Example:
"I met Cullen today, my life is complete."
"I am completely in love with Cullen."
"Cullen always makes every day great."


Cullen
To do something on purpose (not by accident) like you had a specific reason for doing it.
Example:
Chris cullen dropped the bar of soap with full intentions of inviting another man to insert himself into his rectal cavity. Afterwards when realizing what he had done by purposely dropping the bar Chris whines “Why is it always me getting screwed”


cullen
A man who is a bad mutha. Most likely a ninja or some other bad ass profession, such as porn star, elected official, super-athlete or even C.E.O. of your mom. Disclaimer: Will fornicate with any friends hot mom with out regret. A cullen is a cold blooded panty bandit with the future in his eyes and fire spewing from his mouth.

A cullen usually makes good money, certainly more than you, yet your not exactly sure how. An enigma will spontaneously combust if ever to come into contact with a cullen.

A cullen can be found in Public places such as cities, towns, or Canadian territories. A cullen can also be found in the isolation of the deep wild where he may be pondering ponderous thoughts of the very existence of time and space which would cause lesser men's heads to implode in the manner of a rather disturbing sucking sound.

I digress explaining a cullen any further would simply take away from the only pleasure you will know for the next 20 minutes. The basking in of the the thought of the very essence that is. A cullen.
Example:
Woman A: Hey do you see that hot guy walking this way?

Woman B: OMG he just checked you out.

Woman A: Umm I think I'm pregnant.

Woman B: Wow I think that was a cullen. Your such a bitch.


Cullenism
Cullenism was once a huge fanbase cult spanning to at least 25 million people. It is defined as the polytheistic religion by which the characters of Twilight are gods, Stephanie Meyer is a sort of Jesus figure or more of a prophet, that the books are the new Bible, and that if you believe with all of your heart, you will one day go to heaven where you can orgasm over Edward Cullen. The most important factor of Cullenists is that they believe the world of Twilight to be real.

Their tenets, simplified, are

1. Edward and the rest of the Twilight characters are real.

2. Stephenie Meyer is the (or one of the) best author(s).

3. The twilight series should be worshiped.

4. If you are good in life, you will be bless with eternity with the Cullens. If you are bad in life, you will be sent to James’ cave.

Religion is similar to the fanbase in Korea involving their dictator, except the Cullenists number more and are more likely to freak out Kim-Jong Il. Cullenism is also much more dangerous of a cult than perhaps every cult known to man and the Legion.
Example:
Bethany accidentally let loose from her lips the fact that she doesn't think Twilight is so cool. The comment was heard by rabid, raging members of the Cullenism religion. Bethany was never heard from again.


Cullenism
A religion for people that don't know what to do with their lives. Which are all Twilight fangirls.

They obsess over Edward Cullen (Hence the word, CULLENism) Believe Stephanie Meyers is a god and that Twilight is the new bible. Often they scare people with their new found "religion" or if the person says they don't like Twilight, or think it's average, they'll beat that person into submission or call you a fat-ass with no life (Quite ironic, non?)
Example:
Person 1: I'm conducting a survey to see what religion people are, may I ask what yours is?

Person 2: OMG, I go by Cullenism!1!! You've never heard of it?! Edward Cullen's soooo hot!!!11 Stephanie Meyer is a god and Twilight is the new bible!1!! You should joi-

Person 1: *runs away*

Person: YOU FAT-ASS!!!11one YOU HAVE NO LIFE!!1! RETARD!!11oneone D:<


Cullenism
A "religion" formed by teenage girls which may as well be scientology.
The religion is based on "Twilight" by Stephany Meyer, which is pretty much they're bible or, "Holy Book."

It's pretty much a bunch of girls obssessed with the main character Edward Cullen (hence CULLENism) who think Christianity is too mainstream...
Example:
Janit: What religion are you?
Kate: Cullenism.
Janit: *leaves*


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