engineering

a college student who majors in this can forget about his life, because there will be no more time to do anything besides study, and then drink to forget how fucked you are. Study and drinking, that's about it. Also, engineers are known to have no sleeping pattern because of numerous all-nighters. There should be an amendment to the constitution to add an entire point to any engineering student's GPA, as only then will the scale be fair to everyone.



engineering
A hard major that results in a good job in the end. Only problem is that there aren't enough girls in engineering.
Example:
We need to encourage more girls to take up engineering so that engineering guys can get laid.


engineering
Engineering is the practice of mucking up once useful objects. Practitioners excel at telling skilled workers how to do things the engineers themselves have never done, nor are capable of learning. Engineers can expect to be paid menial wages while languishing in a cubicle and annoying productive people with endless demands for more submittals. Your life as an engineer will be designing stupid shit that laymen will fix in the field, and reviewing thousands of pages of eyewash to ensure that all systems are too comp-licated for the end users. Fortunately you will have months to incorrectly design systems that the talented technicians must build and install in weeks. They will make it work behind your back so you don't fly in on a site visit and fix things. You will be replaced in your prime by an intern and no one will notice or care that you are gone.
Example:
Engineering guy says let me explain how your car works while a skilled person fixes it.


engineering
A field of study offered by college universities that focuses on math and applied sciences. Students who decide to major in engineering are usually obese and socially awkward individuals (think Yu-gi-oh card players and band geeks) going into the major with the false hope that the big pay check later will make everything better. They sacrifice all good aspects of life (healthy eating habits, developing good social skills, having a open mind, and sex) in order to study arbitrary things such as multivariable calculus and thermodynamics. In their quest to become soulless number crunching zombies they begin to bash on other majors constantly complaining on how hard and important their major is and anything that's not engineering is irrelevant. In reality they are short changing themselves from developing important social networking skills (which is essential in the job market) and obtaining a well rounded education. When the time does come they will most likely screw up on the interview to get the big job (due to their social awkwardness) and end up teaching at a community college as a second rate professor.
Example:
Humanities/Business major: Hey loser!
Engineering student (in his head): I'll show you. What I'm studying is important and it's going to get me that big pay check. Then all the ladies will come to me.

10 years later.....
Humanities/Business major (now a CEO): Hey loser!
Engineering student (in his head): Doh! Well at least I have my health..... wait no I don't.


the engineer
Hey look buddy, I'm an engineer. That means I solve problems, not problems like "What is beauty?" Because that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of philosophy. I solve practical problems, for instance: how am I going to stop some mean mother Hubbard from tearing me a structurally superfluous be-hind? The answer, use a gun, and if that don't work... Use more gun. Take for instance this heavy caliber tripod mounted lil' old number designed by me, built by me, and you best hope... Not pointed at you.


engin
a person you will never forget. dont lose him or you will regret it. His eyes... you will lost you in them because they are so amazing and beautiful. this is also a name of a turkish boy i met times ago. He has a big heart and a beautiful smile. I think i will never forget the way he looked at me. Engin's are often very good in sports and attractiv. He looks good every day with he's cool hair und his great white smile. He is love in person.
Example:
Engin = limitless


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