flat top

a hairstyle worn by psychobillies, short on the sides with the top styled upwards and trimmed so that it is flat, hence the name 'flat top'.



flat-topped
Used to describe behaviour which is particularly petty, childish or vindictive in some way.
Example:
You spent two solid days arguing with 14 year olds on an Internet forum over the difference between mummies and zombies. How ludicrously flat-topped of you.


Flat Top
An act committed by a dominant gay male, or a top, whereby he sneaks his hot dog in-between your buns by planking on your back; fully erect.

The flat top is considered to be one of the most daring and skillful planking maneuvers, as well as one of the most demeaning gay sex acts.
Example:
Guy 1: "I passed out drunk on the yard last night while taking a piss, and Chris took pictures planking on my back naked. On an unrelated note - Jagermeister really makes your asshole hurt in the morning."

Guy 2: "Dude... I saw the pics on Facebook.... you got Flat Topped. The national sexual assault hotline is 1-800-656-HOPE."


flat-topped
1. Noun. A hairstyle popular in the early 1990s, sported by former Amiga Power journalists until present day. A haircut where the hair is shaved unpleasantly at the sides and combed straight up to form a "flat-top", a perfectly level snooker table smooth top sported above a pinch-face.

2. Adjective, "flat-topped" Obnoxious or idiotic behaviour, noticeably angry but lacking in self awareness or critical thought. Also the act of aggressively barracking one poorly thought out-idea ploughed into the ground along formulaic lines.
Example:
That inexplicably angry rant you are indulging in is particularly flat-topped, sir. And questioning my ability to 'understand simple English' is only compressing the flat-top'.


Flat Top
To stay behind in a foreign country while on a work related trip and abandon all of your responsibilities without saying anything to anyone in order to chase a girl only to come home five weeks later to find you no longer have a job and your cat hates you.
Example:
He is not on the plane, did Alex say goodbye to anyone? No, he totally flat topped. Well, I hope she isn't pregnant.


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