goldfish

the snack that smiles back



goldfish
Someone with an extremely short memory, or one who is extremely absentminded.

Derives from the evolutionary defense mechanism of the American Goldfish in order to stave off insanity due to boredom: "wow look at that pretty plastic tree"... "wow look at that pretty plastic tree"... "wow look at that pretty plastic tree"
Example:
"Damn...That Sue never learns... She just does the same dumb shit over and over again like a goldfish."


goldfish
1. A popular pet often kept in bowls (which they shouldn't, that's bad for them) and often thought of as having a 3 second memory, though this is a myth, because in reality goldfish have a longer memory than you do.

2. The snack that smiles back.

3. People that have a super short memory, originating from the myth that goldfish have a 3 second memory (which they don't)
Example:
1:

SMART son:"Mom, I found a goldfish!"
Mom: "Ok, keep it in your bowl"
SMART son: "FUCK YOU YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT TAKING CARE OF GOLDFISH"

2:

"I had some goldfish yesterday. I wonder why it was smiling at me even though it was gonna die and get digested and turn into shit."

3:

SMART daughter: "Dad, look at that goldfish!"
Dad: "Oh, that's a person, not a goldfish!"
SMART daughter: "DUMBASS I WAS THINKING OF THE PERSON "


goldfish
A pet that doesn't do anything.
Example:
My goldfish was named Snappy.


goldfish
A girl whose only purpose is to look pretty. A goldfish is promiscuous and capable of having 100s of children in her lifetime all while ruining entire ecosystems. A goldfish does not contribute anything to society other than it's decorative outer beauty. Also know as a golddigger.
Example:
Brad: Yo I met this girl name Rachel on tinder.
David: Yo, don't talk to her she's a goldfish!


goldfish
1. A cheesy cracker shaped like a fish. It tends to smile back.
2. A person who is very forgetful or seems to have no memory at all.
3. A person who wears glasses that make their eyes look huge. Much like a goldfish's.
Example:
1. Michael: What are those cheesy snacks that always smile?
Brian: You mean goldfish?
Michael: Yeah!

2. Amy: Did you finish your homework last night?
Sarah: ...I don't know...What'd you ask me?

3. Nina: You see Rachel's glasses?
Emily: Yeah, now she's a goldfish.


goldfish
Women who look totally gnarly in the morning, nothing like they did the night before. Comes from the look of sunken eye sockets and makeup-less eyes making them bulge out of the head like goldfish.
Example:
"Veronica has a tight body, but damn! She's such a goldfish in the morning."


goldfish
To practice a drill or to play against a very easy opponent, so easy you might as well be playing against nobody at all.
Example:
"Wow, Corey just got 300 passing yards in that game against Miami!"
"Yeah, but Miami can't defend a passing game to save their lives. He was just goldfishing out there"


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