proclamation

Something that is proclaimed. A declaration.



Constipation Proclamation
The declaration that all must eat fruit and food high in bran to help the flow of certain things coming out of the body
Example:
The president signed the constipation proclamation stating all must eat vegetables and fruits, and things high in bran


Masterbation Proclamation
When a guy who always denied ever jacking off first proclaims to their friends that they indeed do masterbate. Usually admitted after days, months and years of questioning and teasing.
Example:
Krieg- "You missed it last night. Brett finally caved."

Chase- "How's that?"

Krieg- "Masterbation Proclamation"

Chase- "I always knew he was a jackoff"


Emancipation Proclamation
The act of breaking up with one's significant other by performing an unwanted Abe Linclon on him/her. It is expected that the recipient will express outrage and a desire to end the relationship at which point the individual performing the Abe Lincoln typically proclaims "You're free to go", thereby emancipating the recipient from the relationship.
Example:
Michael - "Dude, did you break up with Tyra last night?"

Jeff - "Yup, I gave that skank the old Emancipation Proclamation!"


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