sammiches

REALLY tasty sandwiches.



sammiches
Term used in place of sandwiches by people lacking enough brain cells to fully process and comprehend the concept of sandwiches, or lacking enough teeth (or jawbone, tongue, etc.) to properly pronounce "sandwiches," or lacking the literacy required to have ever seen (and understood) the written word "sandwiches" and thus lacking the required knowledge to properly say and pronounce the word sandwiches. Sometimes this speech impediment can be caused by not having (lacking) had food in a long enough period of time to cause excessive hunger, starvation, malnutrition to such an extreme the subject can't physically think and speak properly, and is in such desperation as to be emotionally too excited at the prospect of being about to eat some sandwiches to slow down and properly say sandwiches, and just blurt out "gimme sum 'dem big- ole sammiches...
Example:
The infamous mad scientist spelunking cave explorer extrordinaire Sir Bok McFitzgerald the 7th, was found alive and well this morning after a cave collapse had trapped him 20 feet below the surface for 3 hours in a guano cave just outside of Dickey, North Dakota. The scientist was obviously too traumatized by the event for comment as he was pulled out of the cave on a stretcher by local search and rescue paramedics. But he was seen pulling off his oxygen mask long enough to utter one strangled word, that being "Sammiches...," before his eyes rolled back in his head and convulsions resumed appearantly from an allergic reaction to ingesting guano. This made the 6 o'clock news complete with "film at eleven" in Dickey, North Dakota, where Sir Bok is a hero of some reknown, having an honorary "certificate of merit" in exploration for once getting his head stuck in a storm drain after announcing "I think I see a quarter!" His fellow high school alumni took pity on what could prove to be their village idiot and dubbed him an "explorer."


sammiches
Example:


sammich
A sammich is a type of sandwich. However, it is not just any kind of sandwich. Any old schmuck can throw lunchmeat between two slices of bread and have a sandwich.

But no. A sammich is not just a sandwich, it is not just a meal. Sammich is a term reserved for only the holiest and mightiest of all sandwiches. A sammich is a true work of culinary art; a feast on a bun, if you will. A sammich is not made of the best ingredients; it is made of the *right* ingredients. It needs the right meats, and the right cheese(s), the right sauce, the right veggies, and the right kind of bread.

Taking footlong sub bread and throwing every kind of meat and cheese and everything else under the sun or in your kitchen pantry on it does not a sammich make. It is akin to an incohesive mishmosh of colors on an artist's easel.

Sandwiches make a good snack, but sammiches are forever.
Example:
I'm having a sammich for dinner tonight.


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