business school

A pyramid scheme to separate liberal arts majors from their trust-fund allowance. The scheme relies on false promises of high ROI, social rank, beer and Rotel on Fridays, a prom night do-over, and a view of the top 2% of the narcissistic personality disorder spectrum, providing insight into the human condition.The top of the scheme is dominated by prep school spawn that receive revenue from participants but make most of their money from contracting gigs pitched through their university press “publications.”The second tier joins two unique groups, a group of smart top-tier candidates that serve as sexual partners, breeders, and ego fluffers to the top tier in hopes of moving up, and a group of sexed-out top tier members that do not have the physical looks sufficient for the promotional material. The second group, known as “Deans,” are generally considered outcasts within the top tier.The bottom feeders are IT workers that chew up a staggering 20-30% of the revenue. As master con artists, this bottom group benefits the most via telecommuting agreements. Unnecessary equipment is bought from friends and placed where a row of cubicles would normally provide a habitat for revenue generators in most schemes. Some speculate the lights on the equipment blink hypnotically and subdue higher tiers before being easily outsourced to the cloud. This group garners additional revenue from “work@home” side gigs which fund spiritual retreats on the California coast and drug-gorged orgies.